Dear Her Campus Guy: This is a question that all girls want to know. Why do men cheat?
Her Campus’ Male Correspondent Julian Jones:
This a question that many heart-broken girls have been asking for years, the typical responses that women give are “men are selfish pigs” , “too immature to just leave the relationship” and the most common response that I got was “opportunity” . The funniest response was from a married woman for over 15 years, who also dealt with a cheating husband, she simply said “Men are as faithful as their options.” In actuality you can narrow this down to 3 simple motives…
The first one being pretty simple convenience, in most cases of infidelity “men are as faithful as their options.” How many times have you seen a cheating boyfriend with a drop dead gorgeous woman? Then he goes around and has a lapse in judgment. This is not a story that’s new to anybody just ask, Sandra Bullock(Ex-husband Jesse James) , Ellen Woods(Ex-husband Tiger Woods), Halle Berry (Ex-husband Eric Benet), Jennifer Aniston (Ex-Husband Brad Pitt), Kim Kardarshian…Ok maybe not the best example. All of these women are stunningly beautiful, successful and rich. In the cases of Jesse James, Tiger Woods and Eric Benet they had women on the side who were just simply willing, able and horny. Brad Pitt started an affair with Angelina Jolie on the set of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. See the convenience…
Now motive number two is what I call “Social Grooming”, what I mean by this term is if you look what’s being played on television the central theme, is always sex! Specifically where the guy tries to hook up with as many girls as he can..i.e. Jersey Shore or any James Bond film. Whether we know it or not what we see and/or hear has a big effect on our actions. Sadly most men today don’t have the same values as our fathers and grandfathers where they believed finding that one woman who you loved so much, that the thought of growing old without her was unbearable.
And of course the last motive goes back to saying Women are more mature than men immaturity. The reason I say that is because what men don’t realize that cheating on a woman who’s already emotional by nature, causes damage not only to her confidence, her sense of trust and her self-esteem. The one question she’s going to ask herself is “What was wrong with me?” when she may have been the perfect girl. We don’t realize that walking away from you is more mature than just staying around because we don’t want to hurt you, when we hurt you even more by staying and cheating on you.
There are some good ones and bad ones out there, but never lose your ability to love and trust.
-Julian
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