I find there are times I will let go of those who should be in my life because I’m afraid of being vulnerable again. I’m afraid of the heartbreak of the past being my future. I run away from the potential pain someone could cause simply because everything I’ve ever experienced, everything leading up to this moment, this present, has ended in loss and pain. I am afraid of opening my heart again because I am far too familiar with it being destroyed and disregarded. The saddest thing is because of the past I discount and avoid the beauty of any future I could have some day. I no longer takes chances with our heart. I have found it is easier to close off that possibility. It is easier to ignore the pull and to be an island unto myself. If I am the only person I deal with then there is no opportunity for someone to harm me. The truth is, yes, pain, heartache, betrayal, trust, and hate could all arise, but so could respect, companionship, love, understanding, trust and happiness.
I’m not simply referring to romantic relationships alone. All relationships are important. Friendships are important. Imagine if the next person you met was your soulmate, not the romanticized idea. But a soulmate in the sense that they are your best friend, someone you have waited your whole life for. Someone who understands who you are and fully accepts you. Someone who laughs and understands your jokes. Someone who checks on you out of genuine concern, because they can sense when you are not ok. Someone who holds you and love is communicated in their embrace. This is love at a fundamental level. This is the love that blankets you in safety. Selfless love. Relationships do not always have to be traditional. They shouldn’t be put in a box for a ‘one size fits all’ approach.
I guess I said all this to say I know you should be in my life and when you come I’m going to take another chance. I’m going to move beyond my fear of potential pain, exposure, heartache, rejection, and loss. I believe we all have a soulmate in this world. They comfort our heart with just their presence. I’m not simply talking about someone who completes your sentences; I mean the person who helps you build the thought in the first place. Their influence and impact changing your life for the better. Somebody who has you like no other. Someone who will know you like no one else will in this world.
Your soulmate is coming, and so is mine.