When things go right. When you get that internship, you wanted. When you get that A in the class that was killing you. When you want to turn to your best friends in the world and let them know what happened; it hurts that they aren’t right beside you.
The truth is, as we get older it’s harder to have your best friend at your side all the time. My best friends are across the country. Yours may just be a few blocks away and it feels like a long distance friendship.
When it comes to friendship there isn’t as much of a stress in society to prioritize it like a romantic relationship. As important as it is to have a strong healthy relationship, it is equally important to have a strong friendship. A strong support group to help through the hard times and celebrate the good times.
Relationships are work. They require communication, trust, a unique sense of understanding of one another. Friendships require just as much work and commitment. If not more because of this idea that friends are so easily replaceable. Friendship break ups hurt in their own right. Yet, there isn’t as much talk surrounding that heartache. A best friend isn’t easily replaceable. A true friend builds you up and supports you just as much as your romantic partner should.
I personally believe that there needs to be as much focus on our friendships as there is on our romantic relationships, maybe even more so. Friends are the ones you turn to when anything goes wrong, including a relationship. When your partner makes you happy, sad, angry, you go to your best friend.
When it comes to building a life for yourself, it’s important to consider not just who your romantic partner is, but also who your friends are. Who are the people around whom you know will stand with you when things get rough? The friends, who even if they live across the country will pick up the phone when you really need them.
This isn’t to say that you need to talk 24/7 to your friends to still be best friends. This is about understanding that you and your friends are each creating their lives but that at the end of the day you are each other’s home. We all choose our own paths. To live in Atlanta and become a journalist. To live in L.A. and become a photographer. To live in Washington and become a nurse. Life has so many turns, good and bad ones. At the end of the day, you need people to call up on the phone, to Skype, so you can tell them everything that you did or didn’t go well. A safe place.
That’s where the hardship comes in. Technology has been a huge help with keeping people across oceans connected. I can call up my best friend with good news as soon as I can and she can call me back whenever she can. Which is great but like with anything having the physically right in front of you is always better. It’s hard to not be able to hug them, to sit with them and talk face to face.
That’s where the work and commitment come in. There needs to be as much effort on everyone’s part to stay connected as you would put into a relationship. Work to make time for each other. Understandably we all have busy schedules. Work, school, family, relationships. Which is why there needs to be effort put in to schedule dates with your friends. Whether it be Skype dates or coffee dates.
Long distance friendships come with the hardship that any relationship does. The physical distance, the longing. They require as much attention as a relationship. Friendships are necessary to maintain because those are the people in our lives who help you grow. They make you a better person and help lighten the load. The effort you put into your long distance friendships is worth it. When the time comes that you need one another you will be there for each other. You will help each other accomplish what you set out to.