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The Open Door of Betrayal

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Savannah chapter.

What would one define as betrayal in marriage? Marriage is between a man and a woman. It is a sacred bond that should not be broken; however, when there is a lack of communication the doors of betrayal are open. Betrayal can lead to destruction in marriage.  When one partner feels that there is not enough love or attention been giving to them, this is when they seek it from someone else. In general, a successful relationship requires feelings of stability and security, physical and emotional intimacy, and companionship. When one of these is insufficient, one or both partners are likely to feel .Marriage is between a man and woman it should never be broken.

When the idea the idea of intimacy is a bond between two people.  Intimacy in marriage happens when a husband and wife proceed to bind each other’s love by connecting with each other on a deeper level. Although intimacy can be relatable to sex, it also connects with a person’s mind and soul. If a spouse is unsatisfied in their marriage, their behavior begins to change. When this occurs, a person will soon find themselves finding interest in someone else.

In Gill Valentine’s book Globalizing Intimacy: The Role of Information and Communication, she quotes Jamieson who says, “Intimacy is a specific sort of knowing, loving, and caring for a person” . Jamieson suggests in order to please a person in marriage, they first have to understand their partner’s wants and needs. Physical intimacy is important because it draws partners together connecting the mind and soul. It helps bind the spouse’s connection and makes people feel secure with each other. In addition to lacking intimacy in marriage, couples can also lack communication. Communication is more than two people talking. The most important tool to communication is listening with an open mind. Communication is about understanding a person’s body language and getting a feel of what their vibe is. It is important for couples to express their wants and needs towards each other, so they can resolve the problem because if couples are not communicating, the relationship becomes unhealthy. Marriage is a relationship in which disclosure is expected to be far higher than in most other relationships. The wedding ceremony formally instructs each spouse to love and cherish his mate; clearly an instruction that requires high communication, not only of information but also of feelings.

In a marriage communication is important to have with your spouses. If couples do not communicate it can cause for miscommunication between the two. In a relationship or marriage it can be irritating when spouses aren’t listening to one another, and ladies we all know when our man isn’t paying attention we are quick to give them the silent treatment. However, when we take a chance of not confiding in our significant other, we tend to lose a connection we lose a connection with them. Communication is key when you are married. When spouses are able to confide in your man and let him know that something is bothering you or if something does not seem right that is what keeps the marriage alive. Without communication there will be frustration, trust will be lost, and your partner will be become defensive. In Barbara M. Montgomery book The Form of Quality Communication in Marriage she quotes Miller and Steinberg who says, “That is, quality communication occurs only when partner attribute meaning to a verbal and nonverbal behavior based primarily upon knowledge of their spouses as unique individuals”.  In order to have a strong marriage, spouses have to be able to open up to each other.

Finally, when a marriage lacks intimacy and communication, this is when betrayal begins. The way betrayal happens is when a person puts their trust in someone else’s hands. A person becomes vulnerable and opens up to a person who they feel they can trust. In order for trust to be given, it has to be earned, and once it is taken for granted, a person will begin to lose all confidence. People tend to learn from their mistakes. Betrayal can either make or break a person. It destroys a person’s confidence in themselves.

Communication is the key to a healthy marriage. In order for a marriage to survive, both spouses have to be able to understand one another. Couples may struggle with communication in marriage trying to express each other’s wants and needs; however, it is all a part of the process. When spouses are able to reach out and explain their thoughts, feelings, and wants with each other, it will make for a better outcome. If partners do not express their feelings, then, lust enters the situation. Once lust begins, a spouse will begin to betray their partner. Lust is a built up emotion a person has when they do not feel fulfillment. In order to have a successful marriage, treat your spouse as a lover, and acknowledge their needs.