I’m the oldest of 10 kids, and growing up with that many people around is an experience. They’re kind of aggravating, but ultimately, I love them (most of the time).
1. Let’s get this one out of the way first: You always hear questions like, Is your family Catholic? Do your parents have a TV? Are all of your siblings from the same parents?
I mean, it’s not really any of your business, is it? (It’s always fun bonding with other big families over how to answer these questions.)
2. Leftovers must be prominently labeled.
If it doesn’t have a name on it, it’s fair game. But writing whether you licked it or not might help deter hungry teenagers. (NOTE: This tactic doesn’t work on everyone, just the germaphobes and people who didn’t come from a big family.)
3. Portions do not exist.
After 20+ years of cooking for your family, plus the inevitable friends that join you, it’s inconceivable to make anything smaller than a 9 x 13 casserole dish.
4. Good cereal does not last more than two days in your house.
If you do the grocery shopping, this is a great way to get your siblings to love you, but get your bowl right when you get home, otherwise you’re out of luck.
5. You learned to drive in something bigger than a four door or a mini van.
You know those vans that look like gray school buses? I took my driver’s test with one of those. Incidentally, I also like to park in the back of the lot.
6. Speaking of cars, your family always drove people places because they had the most space in the car.
Before leaving, at least two people had to fight to the death for shotgun, starting with calling it at the same time and then racing to the car.
7. And trying to figure out who gets the car when is the worst.
“Alright, so you two have work, right? You need to leave early to drop 3 kids at school, and you need to call us when you need to be picked up. Wait, you’re sick? I need you to drive!”
8. Everyone talks loud and fast.
You have to get your point across quickly and loudly before the next tangent comes along and you lose your chance.
9. Your friends might try to annoy you. It doesn’t work.
“I’ve had to deal with a child crying for hours because they couldn’t have a tenth cookie. I’m immune to pestering.”
10. Buying in bulk is a necessity and apparently you don’t need to do that in college?
“What do you mean I only need two rolls of paper towels? I’m going to buy the big pack just in case.”
11. Trying to remember everyone’s ages is not going to happen.
“He’s like 8 or 13, somewhere around there.” “I’m 15.” “Are you sure?” “. . . Honestly, not really.”
12. Trying to agree on a movie is like trying to create a peace treaty between ultimate enemies.
“Vote on one of these two movies or Mom/Dad/the babysitter will pick for you.”
See also: “Stop talking.” “Leave her alone!” “You started it!” “We’ll turn this movie off and you can all go to bed early if you don’t be quiet!”
13. Personal space is pretty much non-existent.
Little kids like to snuggle, and it’s weird adjusting from squeezing the entire family onto the couch for movie night to having an actual personal bubble.
14. Alone time sounds fake until you get to college and the little kids don’t like it when you leave.
As much as you hate to admit it, you almost miss the little kids barging in on you when you’re trying to sleep in.
15. After years of babysitting your own siblings and neighborhood kids, you’ve kind of become the mom friend.
Alright, in my purse, I have band-aids, a juice box, gum, a flare gun, and 5 granola bars. Also, guys, please be careful, those bowls are too close to the edge of the table.
16. You always have someone offering advice. (Even if you don’t ask for it.)
Honestly, though, I’m usually the one offering crucial advice. It’s one of my jobs as the oldest sibling.
17. You can’t buy the same clothes as a sibling, because they’ll end up both in one closet, or everyone having the wrong size.
“I have the socks with two stripes and you have the socks with one.” “I just bought the double stripes last week!”
18. Trying to take the kids to the park and hearing, “Aww your daughter/son/etc is so cute! Are they yours?”
Ma’am. This is not the diaper bag I would’ve picked out if I had a child. It would be much shinier.
19. Having your own bedroom is a foreign concept.
Seriously, I’ll have my own room over the summer and I almost cried. I’ve shared a room since I was born.
20. But because of that, you can sleep through pretty much everything. (And almost anywhere.)
Seriously. Sometimes it’s hard to sleep without noise.
21. As much as you drive each other crazy, though, there’s always someone to talk to and you’re always there for each other.
**GIFS found through GIPHY and Google Images