“Chivalry is dead.”
A common expression tossed around to describe the lack of genuine men in today’s society. In reality it is not a lack of gentleman, but rather a lack of the knowledge of what it takes to be one and, in the ladies case, where to find them. Chivalry is defined by The American Heritage Dictionary as “the qualities idealized by knighthood, such as bravery, courtesy, honor, and gallantry toward women.” Though knighthood may have gone out of style centuries ago, those characteristics still remain important to the 21st century gentleman.
Unfortunately, not all men raised in our generation have abided by such rules. I have noticed a trend of cockiness, infidelity, and an overall audacity to treat women poorly, which frankly, I am not okay with. As opposed to the idea of being good to women, a lot of men would rather play off that they are good people until they have reached the promised land. In reality, a true gentleman cares more about the well-being and feelings of a woman. I know this sounds like a fantasy man that you only read about in fiction novels, but trust me, we exist. I don’t want to make myself out to be perfect or already be on the pedestal of gentlemanly quality, but I certainly work towards it. A gentleman cares not for impressing women.
To adhere to an actual definition, as described by John Henry Cardinal Newman in a guide book for Roman Catholic Scholars (yes, it’s out of date but I promise it still maintains its accuracy), a gentleman “never speaks of himself except when compelled, never defends himself by a mere retort, he has no ears for slander or gossip, is scrupulous in imputing motives to those who interfere with him, and interprets every thing for the best.” This means that a real man doesn’t dignify statements as worthy of a fight. If someone attempts to pick a fight or yell at a gentleman, they would brush it off as nothing more than the uneducated releasing their anger. So next time you’re with a guy and he tries to pick a fight to show off his manliness, take a second look. You’ll see that maybe he is not that dreamy man you thought he was. Physical strength as an ability to protect you is one thing, while arrogance and over-exaggeration of testosterone is another. I believe that to find a gentleman nowadays, you have to look past the exterior and bravado, and see the true motive behind him. I’ve come across so many that have no regard for feelings, and very few who actually care that guide me to think that a gentleman is a dying breed. As long as you hold yourself in deserving of respect, you will find a man who will treat you with such. Chivalry may be asleep, but it isn’t dead. Those few gentleman out there, once discovered, will treat you better than you can even imagine. Keep your eyes out, and don’t settle for someone that doesn’t treat you right.