Before coming to Saint Mary’s, and probably like most 17-18 year old girls, I had one BEST friend in high school that I thought would last throughout the rest of my life—you know, the whole “Aww I’ll miss you so much and we’ll have to text EVERY day and update each other on our lives and Skype every day” kind of friendship. And there are at least half of you that are reading this that have that friendship. It’s incredible to have someone in your life that’s been your friend for as long as you can remember. However, that’s not my case (don’t worry, it’s not a depressing story, I promise!). I didn’t meet any of my best friends (notice how “best friends” is plural) until I got to Saint Mary’s, and these are the types of friendships that I know I’ll have for as long as I live. Let me explain what I mean. WARNING: it’s long, so read when you need a break or a way to procrastinate even more at work or wherever you’re at!
For those who know me now, you know my personality practically to a T. For those who don’t, I’d like to consider myself to be fairly outgoing, pretty sociable, and sometimes a little bit obnoxious because of how loud I am, both talking and laughing (perks of embracing my Italian heritage, right?). Flash back to about 6-7 years ago entering high school and I was polar opposite. I was socially awkward, incredibly shy, and basically a nervous wreck when meeting new people. I didn’t really have too many friends, or at least no strong friendships, growing up and I was terrified that that would be the same scenario starting my freshman year. My mom encouraged me to try out for the volleyball team as a way of making friends and getting to know the school a little bit better (I lived about 20 minutes away from there—I lived in IN and the school’s in IL). So there I am standing at the gym lobby, with roughly 40-50 girls trying to see if they were good enough to make the team as well. I recognized a few from “rival” Catholic grade schools that I played during my 4-year athletic career for the St. John Bosco Spartans, but I still was so petrified to even approach to them. Once the coach called all of us to go into the gym and start warm-ups, I thought I should focus more of my attention to developing athletic skills rather than social skills. And I was doing pretty well for myself, until I encountered the ladder (athletes know what I’m talking about)… The goal of accomplishing the ladder drills is to have quick feet and move in and out of the “rungs.” I was fine on the first few heats, but my mind started to work just a little bit quicker than my feet and I ended tripping on the ladder, falling flat on my face in front of a group of 10-15 girls. Three girls rushed over to help me get back up; once I stood up, we all started laughing until we couldn’t breathe anymore. We all introduced ourselves, and we were inseparable after tryouts.
One girl transferred to a different school after freshman year, but the two others and I remained strong friends. We would always meet up at the football games, walk around, and do virtually everything together when we were at school. I started feeling more self-confident, and I was finally in a great place with friendships and my personality. Every year I’d grow increasingly more outgoing, sociable, and friendly towards my other classmates in school, which allowed me to have even more strong friendships. Fast forward to senior year, and that’s when things changed. A group of girls and I headed to the United Center for the Chicago Blackhawks Training Camp Festival (before they started coming to ND) as my birthday present. We had a blast sitting in the third row from corner ice watching our favorite players practice, seeing that unless we convinced our parents to take out second mortgages on our homes, we wouldn’t sit there again for a very long time. It was a fantastic birthday weekend, and I couldn’t wait to celebrate it more when I brought cookies to school the next day. My best friend, literally, stopped talking to me when we were at school on the following Monday. She never wished me a happy birthday, neither in person, Facebook, nor text message. Absolutely nothing, not one word. I couldn’t figure out if I said something wrong that weekend or if something else was going on at her home, but I figured that I would let it blow over for a few days and everything would be back to normal. It never did, except for maybe 2 days, and from September to graduation, she never spoke to me again. I was absolutely crushed.
After talking to several teachers, friends, and my family and once I was done crying/hurting daily, I decided to move on—I strengthened some friendships that weren’t as close as mine and my best friend’s, but they were what I needed. In a way, that broken friendship actually made my personality grow even more. I don’t know what was kicking in, but I decided that I was going to make the most out of my last year in high school. I got myself more involved with the school, becoming the mascot (which is a hilarious story that I’d much rather tell in person, if you’d like to hear), working with Campus Ministry, leading a Kairos retreat, watching more sports, and, most importantly, learning how to be myself and approach friendships in college. I was ecstatic to take this self-knowledge and bring it to Saint Mary’s for those that were, God-willing, to deal with it, accept it, and embrace it.
Now I’m going into my senior year at Saint Mary’s with the same friends, and more, since freshman year. Looking back, I noticed that with every year my personality grows and changes in the best way possible. I have amazing friends that I wouldn’t trade for the world, even if someone offered me Bill Gates’ financial estate. Sometimes I wonder how my best friend from high school is doing; I wish her nothing but the best and I hope she’s doing well! I’m a little worried though that I may lose a close friend once we graduate (in which I will never leave the denial stage and you can’t make me). However, here’s the key word in the previous sentence: “a.” I have more than one BEST friend from Saint Mary’s and high school, and I think that’s totally OK. Each one of my friends has a special place in my heart for several different reasons—you know who you are. Without them, I’d be in an entirely different place, and I can’t picture myself to be anywhere else but here with them. It’s 100,000% true when people say you form a sisterhood at Saint Mary’s—I have countless sisters that will last me for a lifetime, and this especially helps when all you have in your biological family for siblings is one older brother (Love you, Sam!). Before coming to Saint Mary’s, I refused to call anyone my “best friend.” To this day, I still refuse to say “I have a best friend.” I always say that “I have best friends” and making sure that I annunciate the “s” on “friends.” I wholeheartedly believe that you can have more than one special person to have deep conversations with, to call in the middle of the night for a ride home, to share tears of laughter and sadness, to support one another in difficult times, to argue over what’s next on Netflix, to play games and drink wine, to thank constantly, and more. Here’s to the s-word year, to a lifetime of friendships, and to being my best FRIENDS.
Photos provided by author
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