I am twenty years old and have relied on the Internet for more than half of my life. Recently I’ve tried to imagine my life without the Internet. On the other hand, I often find myself questioning relationships, experiences, and what the meaning of life is. There is a chance I may never find what I am looking for, but throughout this search I have discovered how the Internet negatively affects us, and what the meaning of life is not.
As a human being, and a female who just put her teenage years behind her, I am prone to judgment. Everyone does it. It has become an epidemic in the 21st century. It often feels like my life revolves around judgment, both judging and being judged. As much as I try to maintain my pride, I never fail to subconsciously worry about what other people think about me. I have judged other people. I have made assumptions. And yet, based on my own recent experiences, I have come to the conclusion that we are way too entitled to our own opinions, thanks to social media. Until you are in the position where everyone is making cruel assumptions about you, you do not know how much it hurts.
I got home on a Friday after completing my freshman year in college. I had two full days of a “normal” summer. Then, bright and early the following Monday morning, I was in the orthodontist’s chair with braces being strapped to my straight, and previously braced, teeth. Why braces again? They were needed to hold my teeth together during the maxillary osteotomy I was having done the next day.
Maxillary osteotomy is the medical term for upper jaw surgery in which the oral surgeon cuts the bone inside the mouth above the teeth and below both eye sockets so the entire top jaw, including the roof of the mouth and all upper teeth, can move as one. The teeth and jaw are adjusted forward until the upper and bottom teeth fit together properly, like a well-made jigsaw puzzle. Once the jaw is realigned, tiny screws and bone plates hold the bone in its new position. These screws are smaller than braces’ brackets and eventually become integrated with the bone over time. My surgery lasted about 3 hours.
Ew, I know. That was graphic, I know. Simply put, I was born with excess upper jaw vertical height. So, when I smiled I had a half-inch of unnecessary bone and gum tissue showing. Prior to the surgery I had a significantly receded upper jaw that caused chronic jaw joint pain and headaches, unbalanced facial appearance from the front or side, a receding chin, the inability to make my lips meet without straining my chin muscle, chronic mouth breathing, dry mouth syndrome and sleep apnea. As the procedures described in the previous paragraph were performed, I also had my lower jaw manipulated to pull my chin out about 6 mm because I really did not have much of a chin before the surgery.
There is a significant reason why it is necessary for me to describe this surgery with every detail: part of my healing process was accepting the fact that my appearance was slightly changed by what was a medically necessary procedure. I did not get a chin implant or a facelift; it is all my own bone, my own skin, and my own face. Wait, why do I have to explain my situation? To prevent people from jumping to conclusions and spreading rumors. But that did not stop them.
“But until then I will hold my head high and thank God that I’m not the one who needed plastic surgery on my face to feel good about myself”.
One thing that has really struck me is the power people gain over social media. I would be lying if I said that it does not bother me when people say, “you don’t even look like yourself” or when I hear through the grapevine that people are saying that I had plastic surgery, like the quote above, which is a tweet that was actually posted on the Internet.
My parents’ childhood, teenage years, and young adult lives seemed like such happier and simpler times. Was it because they didn’t have the Internet? At this rate, if people continue judging and putting down others, then what kind of world will we live in, in twenty years? I strongly believe the Internet magnifies the effects of the human tendency to judge one another. I wish I knew why people are so quick to judge instead of having sympathy. It should not have to be hard for a person to offer compassion if someone is going through a tough time. Just being physically there for someone is enough. Be their backbone, give them hope and point out their beautiful qualities.
How I live my life could very well decide what its meaning is, but the things that have already happened to me also seem to have some bearing on this. I often wonder, was I born with a destiny? Maybe I was put through such a difficult experience as a learning opportunity. After undergoing this surgery and being that person everyone talked about, I want to support people who are stuck in that same position. Don’t use the Internet and social media to criticize others. Before you post something ask yourself this, “Could I say this in person or to another person?”
Maybe in writing this I did find out what the meaning of my life is after all. But whether I did or whether I did not, I do know one thing for sure: the meaning of life is not to demean the lives of others.
Photos Provided by Author