Despite popular belief, English is not the actual universal language in the world. It may account for the official language of over 70 different nations and about 40% of the world’s population, but not everyone can speak it.
There is however a language that is universally inclusive and essentially spoken by all people: and that is the language of love.
Humans are social beings and naturally inclined to express their affection to their desirable ones. There are common patterns between the ways emotional love is spoken between people and preferences between how they are loved in return.
Whether that be for your family, friends, or significant other, the 5 Love Languages were defined by Dr. Gary Chapman– a family counselor and author of relationship guides– as a way to understand and improve how you express your emotions to your loved ones.
Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation are one of the five basic love languages, as they express love emotionally by using words that build up. Things like compliments and words of appreciation are powerful communicators and show how much you appreciate the people in your life. Psychologist William James said that one of the deepest human needs is the need to feel appreciated, and by using words of affirmation, that need is met for many individuals.
Quality Time
Two words: Undivided Attention. Quality time means putting your phone away and turning Netflix off to give your loved ones the attention they deserve. Go out for a walk with them, take them out to dinner, or even find a hobby together, and they will appreciate you so much more. According to Dr. Chapman, time is a precious commodity in today’s society and we all have demands on our time, yet each of us has the exact hours in a day. He advises that we can make the most of those hours by committing some of them into our relationships.
Receiving gifts
All five of the love languages express some sort of giving, and so for some people, receiving gifts might just speak the loudest. Almost everything ever written on the subject of love indicates that at the heart of love is the spirit of giving. A gift is a symbol of your appreciation and that you are thinking about your loved ones. It doesn’t even have to cost a single dollar, but it really is important that you listen to those you love and get them something that really represents who they are.
Act of Service
This is most easily defined by doing things that you know your loved ones would like you to do. You are seeking to please them by serving and that really goes along the lines of “actions speak louder than words”. Buy them a coffee in class or even cook dinner for them by surprise and you will definitely notice a difference in your relationship. It’s the little things in life that matter most, and by doing these things for them, your loved ones know you are thinking of them.
Physical Touch
The most acknowledged form of love, physical touch is a powerful way of communicating emotional love. To all the huggers reading this (myself included) this language language is essential in expressing how you feel and brings a sense of security to the relationship. Obviously for many, this means kissing, sexual intercourse etc in their relationships. but implicit love is also important in expressing love, band little things like sitting close to each other, holding hands, or giving a brief hug as they walk out the door, will really allow your loved ones to to feel a close connection to you.
Take the quiz http://www.5lovelanguages.com/ so you can see how you speak the language of love.