By: Claire McCulloch
It’s drilled into our heads that we need to find someone. It’s drilled into our heads that friendships are just not enough, and that we should crave love. We should crave love like the movies, but stay realistic (because we realistically should know that love in real life is definitely not like those stories). We’ve come to an age where life is far from the cinemas we used to go to just to see a glimmer of a hope that some hero will drop everything and run down a highway in the rain to hopefully catch us before we leave.
And yet, we find ourselves lonely.
But you don’t need validation from people to think that you’re pretty. You don’t need validation from multiple people’s attentions just to think that you’re something someone would fight for. You don’t need validation from people of interest, when your friends are beside you emphasizing how amazing you are.
You also don’t need anyone to tell you your great qualities to know that you are great.
Don’t talk to him just to make yourself feel better, when you and everyone else knows you’re just using him to fill a void. Don’t base how great of a night it was by the number of people you flirted with, or the fact that you scored a hookup even when it left you feeling empty inside. When you’re lonely, don’t train yourself to run to them just because it makes you feel better. You of all people should know that in the end, it doesn’t.
Don’t use him just because you’re lonely, or you’re no better than the boys you’ve cried over when they’ve used you through their own emptiness. Because the hurt can really go both ways.
So when you’re lonely:
Don’t just look for potentials, look for something more. Because when you’re lonely, those tangible goals and dreams you hold within you are there to keep you company more than any stranger will be. Your hobbies and memories are there to keep you warm, sans their touch or attention.
Your ambitions will be there for you even when they aren’t, even if you don’t know what your ambitions are yet. Your dreams will keep your head light and your heart happy, rather than mourning over the broken pieces. Your goals will bring you more happiness when achieved than any date night will ever bring. If nothing else, your friends and family will be there for you to keep you warm and keep you close.
When you’re lonely:
Remember that your emptiness should not rely on being solved by their attention. You are enough, and that’s all you ever need to know.