The morning after the election, I was afraid to check the news. I knew my worst fear had become a reality and I had woken to a world that I no longer recognized: one so full of hate and violence that our country had voted for a man who is not only vastly under qualified, but also holds dangerous ideals. After confirming my fears I, like many, had to attempt to come to terms with this new reality.
Denial
Even as I read the news that Donald Trump had been elected president, there was a part of me that refused to accept it. I stared at my bedroom ceiling trying, and failing, to understand what I had read. There was a part of me that could simply not comprehend that we, as a country, had chosen to let hate and violence rule our society. Part of me still can’t accept it. It is incomprehensible to me that there are people with such hatred in their hearts.
Anger
In trying to comprehend what had happened, I looked up exit poll data from the election. I tried to understand how Donald Trump could have been elected. Looking at the types of people who voted for Donald Trump there were times when I was unsurprised and other times when I was infuriated. Of the white women who voted, 66% of them voted for Donald Trump and 29% of Latinx voted for Trump. I was angry that these groups, who are likely to be negatively affected by a Trump presidency, allowed this tragedy to occur. I was angry at the people who looked at Trump and saw someone who could make changes instead of the bumbling, hateful, nationalist, incompetent man that he is. I raged over the fact that women face the same challenges at every level; that a woman could reach the very top of her field and still lose to a vastly under qualified man. This anger has been felt all over the country as people hold protests against the Trump presidency.
Bargaining
There was a brief moment when I would have done anything for another chance or a recount or a miracle. I so desperately wanted the outcome to change I would have done anything I could. Most of all I felt such a deep sense of sadness that there was nothing I could do.
Depression
Once my anger faded, I felt empty and sad. I read story after story about how violence has increased against women and minorities. I read about women who went without their hijabs for the first time because they were afraid. I read about women who were harassed or groped and Muslims and Hispanics who were physically or verbally attacked by classmates as well as strangers. I read so many stories about the terrible things that have occurred so quickly after Trump was elected and my heart became heavier with each story. I read articles about ways to deal with the consequences of a Trump presidency and ways to rationalize and understand the outcome of the election. I read and watched videos and cried at the vulnerability of people who are already being hurt by this outcome. But I also read about their strength. I read about the determination of individuals and society to be strong in the face of a president who has created a culture of hate and violence. Yes, there are people who voted for this culture of hate, but there are also so many people who are just as devastated by this election and who are determined to make the best of it and help as much as they can.
Acceptance
I don’t know if I will ever truly accept this election. I will accept that Donald Trump was elected president through our democratic process, but I don’t know if I can truly accept that we are doomed to this culture of hate and violence. I will accept that Donald Trump will spend the next four years in the White House but I will not accept that he will be able to make those terrible promises into action. I will fight for my rights, and the rights of others tooth and nail before I will accept that one man can set our society back decades. There will come a time where we all have to accept that Donald Trump was elected president by the laws that govern our society, but we do not have to accept the culture and society he has tried to create. We can fight for the country we have known; we can fight for a country where all are welcome and all are free.