Sammi,
I’m a freshman, and I just started dating my boyfriend two weeks ago. We met at Rowan last semester and were close right away. I guess that over winter break, we realized we had deeper feelings for each other than we thought and decided to give things a shot as a couple. Everything was great—it still is. But this week, he told me that he loves me…already. I didn’t say anything back because I was shocked and am not sure I feel that way yet, and now he’s embarrassed and upset. I don’t know what to say. I haven’t brought it up and neither has he. What should I do? I really care about him and don’t want to lose him…I just think things are going too quickly.
Torn
Dear Torn,
“Love” is an interesting thing. It’s beautiful and exciting and terrifying and painful—all at once.
Now, there’s no right or wrong when it comes to emotions. We simply feel because we are humans. If your boyfriend says he loves you, odds are he really does, or at least feels that way. Remember, there are many different types of love, often confused with infatuation.
At the end of the day, it all depends on the person or relationship. My grandfather knew right away that he would marry that girl in the corner wearing the purple dress—my grandmother. They have been together for over 50 years now.
That’s not to say that there should be any rush. If you need more time to love him, he should understand. It is normal to fall in love over time instead of right away. Regardless, it’s okay. Just be honest with him, talk about his confession and your perspective on it. Make sure he knows that you truly care and enjoy how the relationship is going.
Good luck and stay true to your own feelings.
Sammi