This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Rowan chapter.
It’s hard to interact with an ex, especially if feelings are still floating around. Getting back with an ex, which as a personal philosophy I strongly urge you never do, is complicated. Guys can go into a few different phases with their feelings. One of those phases deals with his confidence.
If a guy was in a relationship for awhile, he may feel the need to do the opposite of being a relationship. He may need to go out and reassure himself he still has game. So he wants to chase girls and feel like he can still act charming and seduce a girl. This is the easy part. Let’s say he still has feelings for an ex. That’s just throwing three wrenches into the machine.
A guy can go out and chase girls even if he has feelings for another girl. He may still want to get together with his previous girlfriend, but still needs that reassurance in his skill in attracting girls. He’s now torn between needing confidence and losing the girl he actually had feelings for.
This is a big problem for the girl. If he committed in the past with her and it lasted a while, he’s gonna hit this girl chasing stage. Depending on how strong his feelings are for his ex, it can last a short or long time. There’s never an in between.
The simplest solution is this: never get back with an ex.
If you ignore that, the only other thing is to just let him do what he needs to do. If he can get that feeling of wanting to chase girls out of his system, he’s going to turn into a better person.
He will better commit in the future if he gets through this phase. You just have to let him know you’re not going to wait very long. He needs some sort of time limit or know he has the real chance of losing you.
Let me remind you though. The best course of action is to never go back to an ex. Go meet more interesting and better people.