Q: Should I tell my boyfriend I cheated?
A: Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
As someone who has been cheated on, I can tell you right now that it is better for you, your boyfriend, and your relationship that you tell him as soon as possible. The longer you wait (and I don’t know how long it has been since you’ve cheated) the less likely your relationship is going to come out of this intact. The thing is, if you wait too long and then you tell him, your boyfriend will feel humiliated in a sense–there he was thinking that everything was fine and dandy, while you harbored this secret from him. To be perfectly frank, you cheating is like stabbing him in the heart. You waiting to tell him that you’ve cheated is like dumping salt into said stab wound. If you care about your boyfriend–which I’m sure you do–you need to tell him. It’s really not fair to him to keep it a secret any longer.
I know that you are probably scared about what will happen when you tell him. And I can’t promise you that it will end well. He’s going to go through a wide range of emotions. He’s going to be in denial at first, he won’t be able to believe that this happened. Then he’s likely going to go into shock and struggle to process it. He’ll get very angry and very hurt. And he will be very, very heartbroken. If your relationship comes out of this alive, it will be very fragile and the trust will be gone for a long while.
And the worst part? The worst part is that there is nothing you can do to change that. And even if you could, I’m not sure you would deserve that because, well, you messed up. Big time. You did something pretty damn horrible, something people live in fear of happening to them.
Does this make you a horrible person undeserving of happiness? No, not at all. You’re human, and you’re flawed (because everyone is) and you did as the humans do and made a mistake. Hopefully, you’ll learn from this and not do it again. And if you’re lucky, maybe you and your boyfriend will come out of this stronger after this very big hurdle.
Much (tough) love,
Ivy
Q: Hi Ivy and Anastasia! I don’t know what to do with my S.O. for our 1 year anniversary!! Can you help me think of some cute and inexpensive date ideas around Rochester and UR??
A: Congrats on your anniversary!
I’ve compiled a list of some fun things to do:
- Have a picnic!
- Go on a nature walk.
- The Seneca Park Zoo.
- Fine dine in Danforth.
- Play Couple’s Jenga. This is like regular Jenga but every piece you remove has a task written on it for the person to do.
- Read your bae some poetry. If you’re into that sorta of thing
- Get drunk in loveeeee. Or maybe just get drunk (if you’re of age) and play charades!
- Cook yourselves dinner and eat by candlelight!
- Breakfast in bed?
- Make your partner a mixtape with all the songs you guys like.
I’m really not that creative tbh, but Pinterest is always my go-to inspiration, so I recommend checking that out too.
Xoxo,
Anastasia