Sexile. Verb. To force your roommate to find another place to stay because your room is being…occupied.
I recently had my first college sexile experience when my roommate’s boyfriend came to visit. I was left without a room to sleep in for not one, not two, but THREE nights in a row. Needless to say, I quickly became a pro at finding a place to sleep, whether that be a bed, a floor, or an area rug.
Here are some of the tidbits of information I learned along the way.
Make sure to have your necessities ready to go
Although I had some prior notice (I knew my roommate’s boyfriend was coming), most sexilings will happen out of the blue. This being said, the best thing to do is to have a small cup or bag filled with your absolute must-haves prepped and ready to go. For me, this includes my toothbrush, some toothpaste, my glasses, and a phone charger. Any time that my roommate and I go out, I make sure to have all of these things together so that I can easily find them and get out of dodge if I need to relocate for the evening.
Sharing a bed is 10000x better than staying on the floor
A little snuggle never killed nobody! Cozy up with your bff (or bf if you’ve got one) and share a bed for the night. My third night of sexile I crashed in my friend’s bed, and it was the best decision I have ever made. It may have been squishy, but at least it was comfortable. I had a blanket and a pillow and a mattress beneath me, and I was beyond grateful since I had just spent the past two nights sleeping on the floor.
That being said, if you must stay on the floor, at least get a pillow and a blanket.
Dorm floors suck. There is no way around that. However, if you are forced to sleep on the floor, there are several things that you can do to make it a bit less terrible. Put everything possible between you and the floor. Area rugs, body pillows, and sleeping bags will do the trick here. Even a thick sweatshirt to cushion your back will make a huge difference. Blankets are also key, because if your dorm isn’t carpeted, chances are the floor is ice cold. My second night of sexile I had a pillow, but no blanket, and I got about 2 hours of sleep. Even when you’re lying on the cold hard ground (@taylorswift), the comfort of a blanket can make you feel a bit less crappy, and a bit more cozy.
Always have a place where you know you’re welcome to crash.
There is nothing worse than getting back from being at a party and realizing you’re stranded in the lobby of your dorm. The realization that it is 2am and you can’t crawl into your bed washes over you, and the panic begins to set in. The best thing to do here is to act proactively. Before you go out, make sure you talk to your friends so that you know that you have a place to stay. Sleeping on an area rug is annoying, but sleeping in the hallway is even worse.
If you know you’ll be spending the night on the floor, take Advil before you go out/before you go to sleep.
This may seem odd, but I seriously wish I had known this prior to my weekend of sexile. The floor of a college dorm is hard and unforgiving, and it doesn’t exactly make you feel great the next day. I remember waking up with small bruises on my hip bones, and a tender feeling near my ribcage. Be proactive and take a painkiller before you stay on the floor, because the way my back felt after day two is something I would not wish on my worst enemy.
Most importantly, be honest with your roommate.
Although nobody ever wants to fight with their roomie, your dorm is a shared space and is just as much yours as it is hers. I chose not to do anything about it because I knew this was a one time thing and I wanted to let my roommate enjoy her weekend; however, if you are constantly getting sexiled, know that you can and should just talk to your roommate about it. Wanting to sleep in your own bed is absolutely fair, and you should never feel ashamed or nervous to express this to your roommate. Honesty is the best policy, and if you are open with her, it is more likely that she will be open with you in the future.
Do you have any tips for the sexiled? Let us know in the comments!