So a lot of us are seniors these days. Well, I still don’t know how to whistle but I like to knit, so I don’t know if this puts me in the senior kindergarten or senior citizen category. But, if there’s one thing for sure, I really don’t want to be a senior in college.
I have never hated a question as much as I hate the question embedded in the title of this article. I can’t even bring myself to type it out again I abhor it so much. I have probably only disliked one question more, a jovial, tongue-in-cheek kind of question that circulated around Christmastime 2007—“Soooo do you have a little boyfriend?”
No, Grandma. I had one 24 hours ago, but he dumped me literally yesterday at the Rec Center, and it was a blissful week and a half of my life that I’ll never get back. “But why would he break up with such a cutie pie like you?!” I don’t know why, Aunt Louise, we’re 12 years old, hormones are mysterious things. “Are you sad, honey? Don’t be sad! You can find a much better boy!” Yes, I’m devastated, Grandmommy, everything is going wrong – you see, I have to wear braces for 2 more years, I don’t know if the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell or not, and I just lost my one true love. Also, all my friends have cell phones and I know my parents are Santa…so, can we make this happen?
Thinking back, this scenario – or series of unfortunate events – is a lot like this mysterious phenomenon we millennials like to dub “adulting”. Which coincidentally is an awful lot like the children’s book series (… A Series of Unfortunate Events) where these three kids are always #struggling and just can’t get a break and have to fend for themselves in the real world against ADULTS. Sounds eerily similar to your own life, right? So, that being said, let’s examine what this kitschy little phrase means.
Adulting (verb): googling how to write checks, drinking copious amounts of coffee, forcing yourself to stop buying crop tops from Forever 21, talking to strangers on the phone more than usual, buying Drano for the first time, willingly drinking a marg on the rocks, etc. (honestly, I could go on and on).
So, you’re going through your life, adulting as best as you can one day (hour) at a time, and someone tries to hit you with that “what are you doing next year” question? Like look…I’m just trying to avoid rescheduling my dentist appointment for as long as I can. My mom refuses to do it for me and I don’t like talking on the phone to strangers if I can avoid it (mature amiright).
Growing up is difficult. The disparity between being a freshman in college and being a senior in college is sort of comparable to the gender pay gap in the United States—not ‘crippling’ per se, but a punch to the stomach and a bucket of ice water to the face. Maybe throw in a stubbed toe as well. Let’s just say this—you are a child when you are a freshman, and you are a slightly bigger child as a senior, except now you feel like you have to figure out the next 89475439 years of your life. Do I feel that I have grown, developed, gathered experience and knowledge since I was a freshman? Yes. Do I feel like a completely different person in a sense? For sure. But do I feel like an adult? Absolutely not.
A teacher from my high school once gave me a piece of advice. I saw her at my high school’s homecoming football game recently and expressed to her (rambled to her) how overwhelmed I was feeling. She told me, “Don’t be fooled. Adults are just big kids who just figured out what they were doing along the way.” While the Type A, planner, can’t-function-without-structure part of me nervously/quasi-manically laughed at this advice, I think I know what she was saying. And it makes me feel a lot better.
Not that this is “news” to anyone—but it feels good to verbalize it in the form of this article which I am writing to, of course, procrastinate—no one truly knows what they want to do at this point. A lot of growing and developing after college is going to occur through switching jobs, fields, industries, making decisions that constantly change our paths and missions in this world. This gives me a lot of peace. I don’t want to “wing” life, but knowing that I don’t have to have my entire life planned out as meticulously as the classes I have to take next semester in order to graduate is comforting.
Long-term plans are good, and there’s nothing wrong with them. But for now, I think I’m going to be really happy formulating a really solid short-term plan. Hard work, ambition, networking, and determination will create my stepping stones. And when I’m an actual adult ( > 30-35 years old? Is that fair?) I think I’ll look back and realize that things really do fall into place when you work hard and take each day at a time.
So I think that’s what I’m going to do. Also, if you’re reading this Mom, can you pretty please reschedule my dentist appointment?