I downloaded Tinder two summers ago because I was bored and my friends wanted to use my profile to mess with people. Since I have been in a serious on-off relationship with the swiping dating app that I officially ended after coming home from my study abroad (American men are simply not as interesting as European men). I was initially totally against it because I hate the concept of Tinder, but I gave in because I thought it might be interesting and funny to see what kind of people frequent this app. I quickly discovered that the guys that I saw on the app were pretty skeevy, but also kind of hilarious in different ways. Although I know that this app is not for finding marriage prospects or anything, I’ve discovered several struggles that I’ve encountered while using Tinder are not just struggles of my own. Here are some misfortunes I’ve come across while swiping through Tinder.
1) When you see someone’s really funny and seemingly original bio, but 10 minutes later you see someone with the same exact bio
*says something about nice leather and mahogany furniture*
2) When their Instagram is linked and they clearly have a girlfriend
Who do you think you’re trying to fool exactly?????
3) When their bio only has group photos and you can’t tell who they are
Every single one of you has brown hair and is wearing the same crisp button down?! How am I supposed to tell the difference????
4) Follow up: When their first photo is a group photo and then you find out they’re the less cute one
This is the saddest discovery of all of Tinder. Usually they’re still marginally attractive, but now you want to find the other guy’s Tinder profile.
5) “Message me first, I’m tired of being the first one”
You’re not that special, and this almost certainly guarantees I will NOT be speaking to you.
6) When they specifically denounce groups of women: “No dumb blondes,” “no Democrats,” “no Scorpios”
Thanks, but I didn’t like you anyway
7) When their photos DON’T EVEN HAVE A CLEAR VIEW OF THEIR FACE
What are you selling, you or your weird eating habits?
8) When the first message is “hi”
I DESERVE BETTER
Of course, all of these qualities are pretty superficial, but Tinder is a superficial site so that seems appropriate. Here’s hoping that bringing awareness to this depravity will prevent future errors in Tinder relationships everywhere.
gif credit: giphy.com