1. If there is an apocalypse coming within the next 30 minutes.
2. If the cushions on the other side of the booth have nails sticking up off of them.
3. If your significant other is paying you north of $100 to sit on the same side as him/her.
4. If you and your significant other are splitting spaghetti and really want to have the best chances of a Lady and the Tramp kissing + spaghetti scenario.
5. If the restaurant is outdoors in Antarctica during winter and you forgot a coat and sharing body heat is the only guarantee of survival.
6. If the table is 40 feet long and you’re having trouble having conversation from one end of the table to another.
7. If upon arrival to the restaurant, Voldemort was already sitting on the side of the booth you wanted to sit on, and you felt uncomfortable sharing a seat with him.
8. Same goes for a rabid wolf.
9. And the Grim Reaper.
10. If ya just can’t get enough. Oh, young love!!!!
*Disclaimer: this is a satirical piece of writing