It’s Student Appreciation Week here at Regent, which basically means a lot of free food and fun events: one of which is Relaxation Day. It’s an awesome day where the school provides free massages for stressed out students, and I’m not gonna lie and say this isn’t one of my favorite things Regent does. But, since my best friend and roommate is touch averse, I have recently been thinking that it is sad that she, and other people like her on campus, won’t be able to enjoy this event. Just so we’re on the same page, touch aversion is a dislike for being touched, which can range from a mild dislike to extreme anxiety and distress that can lead to panic attacks. So yeah, clearly, for touch averse people, massages are going to be the opposite of relaxing.
I thought there had to be some alternatives though, so I asked my roomie some ways that she has found to relax that don’t just further trigger anxiety, and these are a few suggestions she had.
1. Essential Oils
Just because having these oils rubbed on you by someone else may cause anxiety, doesn’t mean these oils aren’t still a godsend when it comes to relaxing in a healthy way. My roommate recommends lavender as an amazing way to calm down. All you need to do is get some lavender essential oil and rub a little under your nose and at your temples. No need for anything fancy like a diffuser or incense, though those could also be helpful as well. But if you’re on a budget, simply the essential oil is fine.
2. Breathing and Stretching
Oftentimes, tension rests in specific parts of the body like the shoulders, back, and scalp. If you don’t feel relaxed by having those poked and prodded at by others, then deep, timed breathing and specific stretches are great tools you can use without any skin-to-skin contact. Inhaling, holding for as long as you can comfortably do so, and then exhaling, over and over, is a good way to relax, especially if you’re trying to go to sleep or focus on a task in front of you. Stretches may require a bit of open floor space if you want to really get into it, but there are hundreds of free YouTube videos on relaxing stretching routines. However, if you don’t have the time, space, or ability to go crazy on the floor, simply tensing and relaxing your muscles slowly, up and down your body, can do wonders. Also, raising your shoulders as high as possible, dropping them back down, and repeating this a few times, can really help relieve tension in your shoulders, which is where I know I hold most of my stress.
3. Find a Quiet Spot
This one may seem really self-explanatory, but its helpfulness shouldn’t be underrated. If you’re stressed and anxious, and your body feels tense, it can be super beneficial to just get away from everyone for a bit. My roommate recommends finding an out of the way corner, maybe in a library or even in your bunk bed, to just pop in your headphones, listen to music that makes you calm or happy, and maybe read a good book. Even if you’re not much of reader, you can doodle, color, fold paper, rip paper, or journal while you’re by yourself, and all of these can really help you relax without having to endure physical contact.
Bonus)
But, perhaps one of the most important tips is to not feel bad about being touch averse. Don’t force yourself to seek relaxation the same way your friends do. Don’t force yourself to act like you love it when people try to massage you or hug you without your permission. You are allowed to not find that pleasant or acceptable. And also, don’t be mad at yourself for needing other ways to relax yourself. If something works for you, it works for you, and you don’t need to act like something does when it very much doesn’t.
Happy Relaxation Day!