As anyone who is part of this community knows, dating is a struggle. Women can be crazy, and guys can be just being hard to deal with. As someone who always ends up with the crazy girls, girls who just want to have fun, or who just got out of a relationship, here are a few tips to follow if you are new to the LGBTQ dating scene or you are already in the scene but are struggling. In addition, here are some of the struggles that most LGBTQ college students deal with on their college campuses.
Where are the LESBIANS?
Coming to college as LGBTQ can be hard and sometimes you have no idea where to look when it comes to dating. As someone who struggles with this and has swiped to the end of tinder, I have learned that if you don’t look, they will come to you. But that seems like bull**** to me, honestly. So, if you are tired of this struggle then check out your local GSA club if your school has one. You will definitely find someone or even make some bomb gay friends to hang out with. Maybe you will end up dating one of them. Don’t question it, anything can happen :)
Figuring out whenever to ask out that cute girl you saw on the quad.
Sometimes gaydar can be wrong, trust me on this, I know from experience. So, if you see a cute girl on the quad and think to yourself, hmmm is she gay? My advice would be if you aren’t shy, go talk to her. If not, well, maybe you can just admire her from a far and think to yourself… wow she’s so beautiful, I’m praying that she is gay. But if you do talk to her, get to know her and then eventually ask her. Who knows, you could be dating in the future or maybe it’s just not meant to be.
TINDER- WHY AM I ON HERE STILL?
Tinder is utterly one of the dating apps that is terrible for lesbians, in my opinion, of course. It depends on the people you talk to on there and what your past experience with Tinder might be. Finding a genuine and real girl on tinder who won’t screw you over is nearly impossible. But sometimes it does happen, about 5% of the time. Dealing with girls on Tinder is even worse. Many of them looking for a third for them and their boyfriend, just experimenting, never dated a woman before or not even your type at all. For me, personally there have been times when I deleted the app but reinstalled it out of utter frustration. If you are using tinder, take a break, go outside and talk to some lovely ladies and turn off your phone for a bit. Do whatever makes you happy and go with the flow.
SOCIAL MEDIA- When is it the best time to announce your relationship?
Everyone who has ever dated anyone has done something to alter their social media account in order to tell people they are dating someone without actually saying it. Sometimes we tend to post about our relationship on social media, without thinking twice. Other times, we have to make a tough decision between deciding whether to post it or not, depending if our significant other is out to their parents. So as far as social media goes, think before you post and wait at least a couple of months before posting. And also talk to your partner about their opinion on it. It never hurts to ask, and it never hurts to keep it low- key either.
WHAT ARE WE? IS THIS REAL?
As every gay, queer or lesbian knows, sometimes girls like to use you. And the question remains are they really gay and into you or just experimenting and using you for a one-night stand. Sometimes you can’t read them and next thing you know, you wake up next to them in the morning. In order to get past this struggle, communicate with them and figure out their true intentions are and if you still can’t figure out their intentions, walk away before it’s too late honey. You don’t want to end up as their one-night stand or as an experiment to them.
HOW TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE WHEN YOUR PARTNER IS EXACTLY LIKE YOU?
Have you ever dated someone with the same personality as you or someone who was a submissive or a dominant person like you? Ever been wondering how to make the first move or better yet who makes the first move such as holding hands or putting their arm around you or vice versa. First off, determine who is more comfortable in the situation and if it’s you, then make a move. If it’s them, then let it happen. But sometimes you can’t determine that, so go with the flow. It never hurts to take things slow, especially in a new relationship that has started blooming, but very slowly. But if you are bold as I am, then definitely make the first move. You will thank me later for that.
GOING OUT WITH FRIENDS AS LGBTQ
Going out with your friends is great, but have you gone out with your friends, who are straight girls or straight guys and everyone else is hooking up with boys or girls, depending on your sexuality and gender and you are sitting there, feeling left out and also not knowing who is gay or not. It’s a huge struggle, I know the feeling. Sometimes, we can’t solve this problem unless a cute girl or guy makes eye contact with you from across the room and you walk over and start a conversation with them. But if that isn’t happening, then enjoy the night out and try to ignore your friend making out with some guy right next to you and please try not to roll your eyes.
A special shout out to all the other members of the GSA e board who gave me these amazing questions to answer and shared some of their struggles with me.
Much love