Most people blame Hurricane Sandy’s destruction on the fast approaching “end of the world”, or the diminishing o-zone layer above us. Personally, I blame it on the fact that Sandy is a cold, hard, bitch.All of the news surrounding last week’s super storm is straight up horrifying. It’s deeply disturbing to see that so many people are likely to suffer for the rest of their lives from a storm that lasted less than 48 hours. That’s why I decided that instead of writing a Hurricane Sandy article full of haunting statistics and controversial issues, I would turn Sandy into a real life woman and compare her to the most publicly hated females.
She pissed off everyone from politicians to small business owners, destroyed everything from power lines to entire communities, and gathered enough dark power to halt the normally rapid and affluent NYC. Just like any other dreadfully awful woman in your life, Sandy had a motive. In this particular case, she aspired to take over the North East, and play on our weaknesses to get what she wants – total control and destruction.Is there a profound reason why the last three hurricane headliners were all named after women? Can real women develop cold fronts just as easily as the atmosphere?
To add substance to my hypotheses, here’s a list of the five most hated & famous women, as ranked by several US Publications. Sandy should have learned from these publicity whores before she made their same mistakes...
5. Casey Anthony
We’ll never know for sure if she’s anything more than a liar and a partier, but that doesn’t change the way that America feels about her. Casey Anthony became a criminal sensation when she was charged with the murder of her daughter Caylee, and walked out of the trial a free woman. Sandy should have seen that if there’s anyone you don’t mess with in America, it’s the helpless youth of our country
4. Kim Kardashian
It’s probably not a good idea to become famous for something that most people desperately try to hide. Just like Kim, Sandy overstayed her welcome and did the unimaginable just so she could make headlines. Sandy should have seen that once you put yourself out there, you have to, at the very least, do something beneficial for society if you want to be accepted. Thankfully, at least one of these women is now gone forever, but she should have never arrived in the first place.
3. Octomom, Nadya Suleman
Octomom is seen as a creepy Angelina Jolie wannabe, who’s interest in Brad Pitt’s woman literally took over her life. That’s right, Sandy, impersonating someone who was in the public eye before you (Hurricane’s Katrina & Irene, anyone), is not okay, especially when you possess her characteristics and take them to the extreme. It’s women like Octomom and Sandy who take “there’s no such thing as bad publicity” to a whole other level.
2. Rebecca Black
“Friday” is the kind of YouTube video that you never wanted to watch – but for some reason, you did. Clearly, Sandy didn’t know that just because you have millions of views online doesn’t mean that you’re well liked. Just like everyone wanted to hear “Friday” despite the fact that it’s painful to listen to, everyone wants to look up video clips and pictures about Sandy’s disheartening aftermath to stay informed. People view online content when they are appalled just as often as they do when they are entertained – and Rebecca didn’t give Sandy the message.
1. Kristen Stewart
When you Google search “Most Hated Woman in Hollywood”, Kristen Stewart’s name is in the headline for every single hit. Just like Kristen could have avoided getting into bed with her boss while Robert Pattinson was waiting for her at home, Sandy abandoned the wide-open ocean so that she could cause pain and commotion inland. However, we’ll never forgive Sandy, as Pattinson forgave Stewart. What we will do instead is pick up the pieces, come together as one big community, and clean up the lives of everyone affected by Sandy’s wrath. We won’t let Sandy walk all over us like R. Patz has let Kristen walk all over him.
To all of those affected by Hurricane Sandy, you will be in my thoughts & prayers until the devastation has passed and comfort is restored.