Getting into a dispute with a close friend or family member is never pretty. Hurtful things are said to each other and feelings get hurt. But at the end of the day, did you really mean all those things?
Forgiving someone takes time and is not an easy process. But one thing is guaranteed: you will feel better about yourself.
Although forgiveness is a long process, these 3 steps are a simple part of the process.
1. Self Evaluation: Take some time for yourself. Go somewhere alone where you can clear your head. Was this dispute preventable? Was the argument started based off you having a bad day? Or maybe, was there something you could have done differently? According to Psychology Today, forgiving allows you to heal and let go.
2. Acceptance: Accept the fact that hurtful things were said. The argument is done. It’s in the past now and nothing can change that. Once you do this, it becomes easier to forgive the person. In an interview with the Huffington Post, Rabbi Shai Held, says understanding how your actions hurt others is the most important step.
3. Apologize and Approach: This can be hard, nearly impossible for some. I’m guilty of never reaching this step, and as a result lack closure from some situations. If possible, apologize face to face to address the situation. Trying to do it via text/phone call can lead to miscommunication. In person you can see the person’s facial expression, hear the tone of their voice, sense their mood.
Before you brush away the idea, there are many benefits to forgiving someone. Mayo Clinic lists lower blood pressure, fewer symptoms of depression, higher self-esteem, and a stronger immune system as some of the benefits. Next time your feeling hurt think of these three steps and learn how to forgive.