And just like that, my first year at Queen’s is over. They’re really not kidding when they say that your four years of university fly by. Before you know it, you’ve gone from moving into residence for the first time to standing on stage on convocation day, diploma in hand. Before you know it, you’ve got strangers turned friends turned family and you, yourself, have changed into someone so different, so mature – someone that you couldn’t possibly believe you would have become four years ago.
It’s no surprise that each year seems to feel like just a couple of weeks. With just two four-month long semesters and with reading week, Christmas break and a few long weekends, we’re not here for long. When we are here, our days are filled with meetings, readings, and deliverables. We’re rushing from place to place, and only once we stop and take a step back do we realize how much we’ve done and how far we’ve come.
So I want to end my first year off by taking that step back and reflecting on what the year brought.
Before coming here, my parents always told me that the whole point of university was to gain perspective on new things, to be able to see things in a different light, and to broaden my horizons. The first thing on my list of what I’m grateful for is all this newfound perspective. First year has given me the chance to hear so many different opinions. I’ve gotten to learn from so many of the people whom I surrounded myself with, whether it was my classmates, my professors, or my floormates. I’ve come to realize that the world is so big and there’s so much out there – to do, to see, and to listen to.
And that’s the second thing that I am grateful for: the collection of all the memories and experiences that I have gathered over the year. I’m grateful for the 2 a.m. late-night talks, the impromptu CoGro cake runs, the exam season panics, and so much more. I think when all is said and done, these are the most valuable parts of university, because they are the things we will not be able to recreate five years from now. They’re the stories that we’re going to die of laughter telling to others, and they’re the moments that we will remember long after we forget the formulas and theories taught in class.
To end off my gratitude list, the biggest thing would have to be all the friendships that came out of this year and all the small moments that I got to share with amazing people. What I loved about first year was how open everybody was to making friends at the start, and how easy it was to find people I wanted to be around. Just like memories, friendships are the other valuable part of university; they’re the part that goes beyond the four short years we have here.
I know that up until this point, I’ve made it seem like first year was a breeze, a montage of happy moments. But I don’t think first year would have been first year if it didn’t have its fair share of pitfalls and lessons learned. It is because of all the newfound perspectives we gain and the new experiences we have in university that we learn things about ourselves, about others and about life in general.
There are three main lessons that I’ve really gotten to learn this past year.
1. Be Kind to Yourself
I can say for certain that nobody has a smooth first year from start to finish. Everybody has their fair share of mistakes, bad grades, failures and rejections, 2 a.m. pizza inhalations, and hungover Sundays. But that’s just life. It’s going to be a disaster sometimes. You’re not going to have everything thought out, and not everything is always going to go your way. Coming into first year, my friend in second year sat me down and told me that at a certain point, I was going to have to accept the fact that I was not going to be prepared for everything. There were going to be some days when I forgot about a quiz, or I had to present on the spot, and I was just going to have to step up to the plate and learn how to get through it. This acceptance of life not being perfect is key, and a big realization for so many first years.
It is during the times when it feels like everything is falling apart that you have to remember to be kind to yourself, and that you have to learn to forgive. A big part of this is simply being easier on yourself, whether it’s by not stressing when one thing doesn’t go your way, or even by not comparing yourself so much to others.
2. Friendship/Family (and Yourself) Come Before School Work Sometimes
Balance is key (another big lesson), and a big part of balance is knowing your priorities. First year has taught me that sometimes, in the right moments, it is so much more valuable and worthwhile to spend quality time with friends, family, and even yourself. I’ve learned that you have to put in effort to keep up relationships, especially when everybody is on their own schedule. So if a dinner with a good friend means giving up a few hours of work, it’s worth it. And don’t forget about yourself. Putting aside time for yourself when you need it the most is underrated in university, but it’s this very thing that keeps you from going crazy.
3. Keep Moving Forward
You need to be persistent. You need to have grit. You need to be curious, and you need to keep pushing forward, even when the world is trying to push you down. There’s a quote by Samuel Beckett that pretty much sums up all of university: “I can’t go on. I’ll go on.” There will be times when you just want to stay in bed all day and while you need to be kind to yourself, you also sometimes need that push. It can be tough, but step by step, you learn to get through it.
To wrap it all up, while I hate the saying, “Everything happens for a reason,” because of its overusage, I think it really does apply to first year. I genuinely feel like everything that has happened this past year – the horribly bad and the unbelievably good – has taught me something in some way, shape or form. I know that it’s going to help me, whether it’s for my next three years or for the more distant future. And whether you’re finishing up first or fourth year, I hope you’ve found the same.