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It’s Time To Face Your Fears

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at Queen's U chapter.

I’ve always loved that quote that they put on every single Lululemon bag: “Do something every day that scares you.”  I’ve always found this idea beyond interesting, but while I’ve constantly told myself in the past that I will adopt this as my mantra, I just could never seem to do it. It seemed like something that was too challenging, too difficult. How could I do something scary every single day? What was that going to bring? Could I handle that?

So, that goal of mine never really happened.

It was something I just tossed aside, year after year.

But yesterday, after attending the TedxQueensU conference and hearing all the speakers share their deepest fears and their stories of finding their edge, this whole idea came back to me. Do something every day that scares you. This time, instead of being scared, I was enticed by the idea and by the challenge. I wanted to let the challenge push me and help me grow.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how important it was to do this. We spend so much of our lives establishing the boundaries of our comfort zones and then just staying in them. We make a home in our cozy, safe boundaries where stress and fear are minimized and control and expectations are maximized.

But we need to start learning to push ourselves to step out of these undefined lines. Comfort can be good at times, but it can also hold us back. If we choose not to go for a project because we don’t feel “comfortable” with it, this is a missed opportunity.

Science has proven that doing something that scares us will make us more productive, prepare us for new and unexpected changes, help push our boundaries in the future, and make it easier for us to harness our creativity.

I know it’s much easier said than done. Because fear is terrifying. It makes our palms sweat, it makes our heart beat a million times a minute, and we start thinking about all of the possible worst case scenarios. Fear is something generally avoided by most people, because who wants to live in a constant state of fear all the time?

But that’s not what this idea is trying to get you to do.

It wants you to do just one thing a day – whether it’s for 5 minutes or an hour – that forces you to step outside your comfort zone. And it doesn’t need to be a great, big leap. You can start off with a step or two just outside the lines.

What you will find is that it will get easier over time and after a while, you’ll find that you’ll be able to take leaps outside your comfort zone and that zone that you’re so comfortable in will get wider, too. Systematic exposure to fear helps to gradually build our tolerance to that very fear, and it pushes our boundaries so that we eventually build our tolerance to many other fears. Over time, a task that was once deemed impossible because of how scary it was will soon become possible, and who knows? If you do it enough, it might even grow to become second-nature.

It’s important to remember that if you want to face your fears more and follow this mindset, you don’t need to go skydiving or cliff jumping every day. Something that scares you could be participating in an in-class discussion, so next time you have something to say? Put your hand up and keep it there. Voice your opinion. It can be scary, but that’s kind of the point. We need to do more of these things that push us and test us, or else we risk the possibility of stagnating for good.

What are some other things you can do?

  • Strike up a conversation with a totally random stranger

  • Take a new route back home, one that you’ve never taken before

  • Try a new sport or activity you’ve always wanted to try

  • Travel abroad alone

  • Run 0.5 or 1 km further than you’re used to on your daily run

  • Try a medium level Sudoku puzzle instead of a beginner level

So, going forward, I want to make it my mission for the rest of the year to do exactly this. I want to acknowledge my fear, embrace it, and do whatever I can to try and face it. You can’t live in the shadow of your fear your whole life, and I guarantee that over time – it’s okay if it’s not the first time – you will get so much satisfaction from being able to say that you did whatever you had to do to face that fear.

Because we need to get out there. We need to push ourselves outside that red line. The comfort zone is boring and outside of it is where all the excitement and the magic lies. It’s where new opportunities, self-development, and extraordinary moments are found.

I know the phrase “you only live once” is corny and overused but in this case, it holds so much truth. You were only given this one lifetime to do all the wild things that you want to do, so are you really going to spend your one lifetime not doing it all because you’re scared or anxious?

And so, leap. You might crash and burn, but you also might fly.

While it’s still very likely that you will always have a fear of talking to strangers or speaking in class, you can say that you no longer let it control you. Instead, you’re taking it by the horns, and you’re controlling it. You’re speaking to that person. You’re putting up your hand. You’re now doing something every day that scares you.

Julia Sun is currently a second-year student at Queen's University studying Commerce. She has always loved to write in her spare time and has her own lifestyle and travel blog on the side (lifewithjulia.net). When she's not writing for Her Campus Queen's, you can find her doing yoga, reading a book, or going for a run.