RLCG: Men Are Simple, Despite What The Magazines Tell You

There are countless women’s magazines, blog spots, and scorned women, quick to eat up advice on how their female allies should deal with the axis powers of men.  There are even more women who haven’t the ability, desire, patience, or perhaps experience to depict advice to their peers, turning their attention to the articles already available.  I don’t claim to be experts in these articles, but of the writings I’ve came across, most are fundamentally incorrect when advising on the simple subject of men. The fundamental flaw is the lack of simplicity in the answers; men are inherently simple creatures. 
 
Volumes of books could be, and perhaps should be, written on this subject, so I’ll focus on some of the advice articles published in Cosmopolitan.  Cosmo is notorious for columns titled ’50 Sex Moves To Drive Him Wild’ or  ‘7 Fashion Trends Men Hate,’ promising to help you tread the confusing waters of the male psyche.  The problem with these articles is that magazines like Cosmopolitan benefit from keeping their readers confused on the subject of men.  Save for the jaded men whom have been in one too many dysfunctional relationships, just having sex with a beautiful woman is enough to ‘drive him wild.’  Certainly there are fashion trends that most men hate, but our disdain is not enough to deter us from trying to sleep with the women who wear them.  By making their readers believe that men actually need all of these sex moves to make us happy, Cosmo tricks its readers into coming back for more once their advice didn’t work on a particular gentleman.
 
But I’m here to give our side of the story.
 
For brevity, I will use Cosmo’s “Ultimate Date-Night Guide,” currently published on the magazine’s website, as a point of reference.  Within the guide are four categories: ‘Make Him Fall For You,’ ‘Look Freaking Sexy,’ ‘New Info You Need To Know About Love,’ and ‘For Naughty Girls.’ Each category has four articles; I’ll summarize and analyze one from each.