Astrology and State College bars are two subjects that I am proud to have the most expertise in. I decided to combine these two passions of mine so as to help the greater good and really allow people to reflect on the individual qualities that make them special. Here is what State College bar drink you are according to what your zodiac sign is.
Leo — Mad Mex Marg
Leos are quite honestly the outliers of society. You may think you know a Leo well, and then boom, they will do or say something crazy that totally comes out of nowhere. Tequila is notorious for causing jaw dropping stories, just as Leos are. Combine this with the fact that throwing back margs on Monday is a bold tradition at Mad Mex, and there is no doubt that Leos perfectly represent all the mischief and irregularity that a Mad Mex Marg — or three — can cause.
Aries — Adios pitcher
Straightforward characters who are always down to business and like to lead, Aries can often be found holding the infamous blue pitcher on the dance floor at the good ol’ Shandygaff. For Aries, drinking is a competition, and lord knows that just one Adios will put you in the lead.
Capricorn — Tanto
Dark Horse is often filled with bearded dudes wearing flannel who appear very stoic or apathetic. Capricorns are very set in their ways, so they relate to the vibe of Dark Horse’s consistency. They are famous for being hard workers, but they know that hard work calls for a good time, so a traditional Tanto suits them perfectly.
Scorpio — Blowjob shot
Known for their particularly, um, “frisky” behavior, Scorpios are nonetheless the epitome of a famous BJ shot from the Phyrst. Lovers of attention, especially from potential love interests, Scorpios know how to put on a show when they step into that strange green basement that so many of us love so dearly.
Virgo — Cafe tea pitcher
The quaint, homey atmosphere of Cafe accurately mirrors the disposition of a Virgo. Virgos are very private people who easily can become settled in their ways. Fans of Cafe 210 West often become regulars who are willing to go for 55 Days in a row, and I bet if you approached the midday tea sippers lounging outside with their skillet fries, a lot of them would be Virgos.
Sagittarius — Long Island from Indigo
Sagittarius’s are often one-track minded and are non-stop in their pursuits, whatever they may be. If they are going to Indigo for the night, they know they have to commit and do it right by dancing the night away and staying until close. This is of course fueled by those $1 L.I.T.s.
Taurus — Drunk Duck
Headstrong and always straightforward, the unapologetic name of the Drunk Duck alone is reflective of a Taurus. A Taurus tells it like it is, and quite honestly, Primanti’s is the perfect place to tell someone off. Taurus’s, before you graduate, I hope you tell off that person who deserves it and dump this nasty blue drink on them. You have my permission to do so, plus, the stars suggest that you should.
Gemini — absolutely anything at the Den
Geminis are crazy people. Notoriously unpredictable, they have two distinct personalities (sometimes more), and you never know which one you’re gonna get. Anyone who has ever been to the Den knows that it truly changes you and leaves you saying “oh my god… who was I last night?” the next day. It is a beautiful yet tragic thing to behold. Geminis can most often be found there on Tuesdays and Thursdays when things get really vicious.
Libra — Shots at Chrome
Always the life of the party, a Libra is definitely a “shot person.” Libras are constantly seeking balance, therefore they are always seeking to reach the perfect level of lit. Between Latin Night, the famous free shots, and the great location (especially for West Siders), Chrome is without a doubt the perfect pregame spot to achieve this coveted balance. This pregame can surely lead a Libra to self-actualization.
Cancer — Martini at Allen Street Grill
Cancers, you classy broads! I’m going to tell you all my biggest secret — many do not know, but there is a bar in the back of the Allen Street Grill that has a gorgeous view of Old Main and is always packed with bougie people over 50 drinking top shelf cosmos. As romantics who appreciate the finer things and spend intimate time with their close friends or significant others, Cancers will most appreciate a quality drink with a view.
Aquarius — Dirty Sprite
Beautiful, fluid creatures that put creativity at the forefront of their lives, an Aquarius is always willing to try something new. Combine the fact that Champs is the new spot in town with the fact that a Dirty Sprite is a magical and artistic purple concoction, and an Aquarius couldn’t ask for anything more appealing.
Pisces — Monkeyboy
Emotional and intense, Pisces let intuition guide much of what they do. The amount of different flavors you have to choose from allows you to follow your heart and really choose the liquor pitcher that best suits your mood, whether it be the sweet mango or the notorious “Bongwater” (who comes up with this stuff, right?!). God knows that a Monkeyboy experience can best be described as “intense” like a Pisces, and everyone has a Monkeyboy story by the time they graduate, just as nearly everyone has a key Pisces in their life.