I want to start out by saying that I understand where the writer of this article is coming from on some of these issues – I do. But there are so many parts of this article that need to be addressed, because I hope that this interpretation of feminism is not the one that spreads; that would be a slap in the face to the women who spent decades fighting so that we could have every door open to us.
The author of “I’m An 18-Year-Old Female And I Will Never Be A Feminist” begins her article by pulling a quote written by one woman who should not define a movement that has been in the works for decades. The author quotes and writes, “’A man told me to have a good day… I’m triggered.’ How ludicrous does that sound? Tune in because that is the extent of modern day feminism.”
Believe me – I don’t like that line either. It’s hard to wrap my head around why a genuinely nice statement from someone who happens to be male would “trigger” someone and ensure their day is now ruined. I absolutely don’t agree with this type of feminism that is being promoted, because that’s not what modern-day feminism is.
Feminism has become a dirty word. It’s often associated with the idea of women rejecting men altogether, trying to topple the system, and becoming furious when men hold doors open or dare to pay for a meal. It makes people uncomfortable, and is placed in the range of topics that shouldn’t be discussed at the dinner table.
Though those kinds of statements are rare occurrences or small enclaves of larger feminist movements, they get attention because they are newsworthy – just like everything else. No one wants to read an article full of everyday details about female politicians battling on the Senate floor, or read the full text of a bill to protect women’s health. People want juicy news and gossip, and like every topic, the run-of-the-mill details just won’t cut it.
But we can’t let the one bad seed spread and morph our vision of what “modern feminism” is. While reading “I’m An 18-Year-Old Female And I Will Never Be A Feminist,” I was deeply saddened to find out that the woman who wrote this genuinely believes that this is what the movement looks like. Of course, she is entitled to her opinions; I only wish she had done some research and tried to understand the bigger picture before she irreversibly published her words.
It took the title of the article and the first sentence of the second paragraph (“Sure, I think boys are stupid and that I’m probably better than 90% of the male population, but that doesn’t make me a modern-day feminist”) for me to lose all respect I had for a fellow college journalist expressing her opinion online. I read on, cringing at the misinformation presented, and getting ready to clarify some of these concepts for her.
The author seems to be confused on the definition of “modern-day feminism.” The kind of feminism she is unhappy with is more radical feminism. Modern-day feminism is just…feminism. Maybe there are a few bad apples, but that shouldn’t spoil the whole bunch.
Feminism means believing in equality of the sexes – that’s all. It’s not scary, hateful, or an all-out war against men; it means that both sexes should have equal opportunities and their gender should not be a reason for unfair treatment. It means that a woman should not be kept out of the C-suite and a man should not be laughed at if he decides to stay home and raise his kids. Feminism helps both sexes work towards a more equal future.
So, when you say men and women are not equal, you really mean that men and women are not the same – and they’re not. They’re different mentally, physically, internally, and externally. They are most definitely not the same, but they are equal.
That’s where this author – and many others who do not look past the surface of the word “feminism” – gets mixed up.
The author creates a scenario where physical exertion is the key to explaining why the two sexes are not equal. She says, “As an 18-year-old woman who works out regularly, and is stronger than the average female, I couldn’t carry a 190-pound man back to a safe zone after he was shot on the front line of a war even if I tried. It is not anatomically possible for a grown woman to be as strong as a fully developed male.”
I would like to know, though, what part of the feminism movement focused on how much weight both sexes could carry. Feminists during the suffrage movement, the sexism-plagued 1950s, and the riotous 1960s and 70s fought so hard to prove that they deserved everything that had always come easily to men – physical strength was never a part of that. They didn’t fight to prove that they could bench press just as much as men – maybe that’s because differences in physical strength have nothing to do with deserving equal opportunities?
This part of the author’s argument is completely irrelevant to the issue of feminism at hand. Women are not passed over for job opportunities and promotions because their strength will never be that of a man’s. They don’t earn less on every dollar than a man because of their muscular endurance. There are deeper, underlying issues that hold women back, issues that will take years to disintegrate completely. There is a glass ceiling that continues to push them down, that no matter how hard so many women fight to crack, it is always, always there.
She argues that men and women are not mentally equal, and she reasons that since the brain is a gender-oriented organ, the cognitive differences between us “singlehandedly destroy gender equality.” Again, she means that men and women are not mentally the same, and again, she’s missing the point.
Men and women have different brains – that’s true. What feminists fight for is to not let those differences hold women back from things they rightfully deserve. They acknowledge that the brain is different, but argue that that’s not a legitimate reason that women can’t accomplish what men can. Just because women’s brains are wired differently shouldn’t mean they can’t join the Senate or sit at the board of directors.
So, the single fact that men and women have different brains absolutely does not destroy gender equality. And I would like to know if this girl would feel the same way after she lost an election or didn’t get a promotion because her brain wasn’t the same as her male counterpart’s.
What I realized while reading this article (and what fired me up the most), is the complete and utter lack of appreciation that this author has for the women that dedicated their lives to creating a world where she could thrive. As of right now, women may still be held back by certain barriers, but it is not impossible – or even unimaginable – to see women as CEOs, presidential candidates, astronauts, executives – anything. But it hasn’t always been that way. So much work went into creating a world like this, a world we are lucky to live in.
This girl is only 18. She didn’t do any of the work, but she can reap the benefits of feminists of the past.
She goes to college, aspires for a job, can do what she pleases without her gender getting in the way – yet says she will never be a feminist. To me, that seems unfair to the feminists who gave her those opportunities when they themselves didn’t have them.
I’m only 21, and I get to reap the benefits too. But I know that women before me had to climb mountains in a very different world to create the environment that I’m in today, and I’m grateful for them.
For me to be a CEO, other women had to become CEOs first. Women had to fight harder to prove they could be executives, not just secretaries. They had to go to court when they were skipped over for promotions because they didn’t wear enough makeup or jewelry. They had to rise through the ranks before it was considered normal to do so – they had to deal with rude comments, sexism, ignorance, and a lot of difficult days to get where they are.
They fought through all of it and paved the road so that I, along with my peers (including this 18-year-old), could have a more fair chance of getting to the top. At the very least, we owe them our thanks.
Maybe it’s because she is only 18 that the very real issues in the workplace and adult life have not been a problem for her yet. Maybe she will drop the rhetoric of “I will never be a feminist” when her ambitious nature in the workplace is labeled as aggression, or when she is told to “back off” by the men contending for the same job.
The author then weaves in sporadic statements about Donald Trump, and I’m not quite sure where they fit in. I will say that I also get frustrated by the fact that it’s “cool” to hate him and that many people don’t take the time to dig a little deeper. As a moderate in basically every aspect of politics, I don’t hate him because the media says I should; I don’t agree with him on everything either, but I won’t let a trend change my personal opinions.
But not all feminists hate Trump – I’m an example of one. Back in the day, it was feminists that gave you your right to vote for and support Trump, or any candidate of your choosing. “Modern-day feminists” keep that going.
I’m not denying that there are some women out there who take the concept of feminism and warp it into something else. There are feminists that feel that women need to “liberate themselves from men,” and there are women out there, I’m sure, that think hating men is the key to rising above them. We’re lucky that we have the right to voice how we feel, regardless of which end of the spectrum we are speaking from, but not all women around the world have that luxury.
I hate to break it to this girl, but it seems like she is a feminist. She blatantly stated in the beginning of her article that she’s all for “anything you can do, I can do better.” She wants a fair shot to compete with men throughout her lifetime. She has feminism to thank for the fact that she can do that.
To the author, I would say this: understand the true definition of feminism. Don’t let a few far-flung comments dictate what “modern-day feminism” is, because “modern-day feminism” is just feminism in the 21st century. It’s continuously breaking down the idea that women can’t hold certain jobs or make it to the top.
Understand what feminism is because it was started to help you. It’s here so you don’t have to make a portion of every dollar a man makes. It’s here so you can study to do whatever you want. It’s here so that there can be women in the House and Senate that fight for the rights to your body and your future. It’s here so that your options are never limited.
It’s here so that by the time you enter later stages of life, there is no glass ceiling holding you down. It’s here so that your kids never have to face one.