The other day I had the biggest “ah-ha!” moment while watching a movie all cozied up on the couch. In the movie How To Be Single Rebel Wilson plays a powerful, independent woman named Robin and Dakota Johnson plays Alice, a strong female learning how to grow up and accept a lesson that teaches her how to be single.
Alice was figuring out how to get her heart in a better place. After getting out of relationships filled with work, dating and sex, she had to learn the most important lesson of them all – how to get into the right mindset, and how in fact she was ready to be single.
When most women or even men today hear the word “single” they think of a lonely, bitter and sad girl; but in my opinion, they truly have it wrong
As I go through this, I will speak from how I feel and what is boggling around in my heart and mind to hopefully find someone through my emotions and thoughts that is able to connect, relate or feel the same way.
Today, it’s pretty damn tough being a 20-year-old woman in college. Heck, it’s tough enough just being a 20-year-old. At times even if you are in a relationship, I can imagine that it’s also hard, but let me tell you something – being a strong headed, yet hopeless romantic at a major university in this stage of life is one hell of a spin on an emotional roller coaster.
I’ve struggled with being okay with being single. Although I’ve always been a very independent girl who needs her alone time, I’ve also always enjoyed the company of others. Whether it be my girlfriends to laugh with, my family to chat with or a crush to be with, having company is always something I’ve enjoyed. I just simply adore being around happy and people that are full of life.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of nights where my heart is heavy because I think of my ex, I’ve teared up when I hear a song that reminds me of an old crush, or I get sick to my stomach when I think of a special memory. However, I’ve learned that feeling these things is normal and that it takes time let go of things that have once played such an important role in my life.
But you know something, I’m beginning to realize how important it is to create special things like moments and memories on your own as well. Being present, enjoying alone time and embracing your “singleness” is so important because once you do, you’ll find out some really cool stuff all about Y-O-U.
At your loneliest moments you’ll often find yourself longing to have romance, love and lust in your life, but it’s important to remember that you’ll find it again and most likely many, many more times.
Ask yourself this question: If you can’t be happy single, how do you expect to be happy in a relationship?
The most important thing to keep in your mind and heart when you’re feeling those vibes is that someday your beautiful self will fall madly in love with the person you are meant to spend the rest of your life with. At this moment, you will accept that you have found your soulmate and will never hopefully have to be single ever again.
There will come a point in your life where you look at this person and realize that you won’t want to live your life without them because they give you life.
Until you get to that point, enjoy being single.
The most empowering relationship is one you can have with yourself. Embrace the “being single” time to have a positive relationship with yourself and discover your true, authentic self. Enjoy that time and relish it becasue at some point it will be gone.
Enjoy the time you have laying outside in your bikini on hot days for YOU and enjoy the moments where you look in the mirror and say “I feel good and confident in my own skin.” The more you enjoy it the more you will realize what you want from yourself and from others that you desire to spend time with.
So, for those pondering the single life, here are a final 3 thoughts:
1) Learn to be single and love to be single.
2) Step out of your comfort zone and stop making the word “alone” seem so ugly because in reality it’s beautiful.
3) Being alone is magnificent. Do as you please and when you please to do so.
Remember:
“Single is not a status, it is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.”
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