Spring has finally sprung here in Happy Valley, and we’re all feeling refreshed after returning from spring break. It’s always lovely returning to Penn State after being away; however, there are definitely a few things that we didn’t miss about being on campus while we were gone. Speaking from a freshman’s point of view, I’m sure that we can all agree that dorm life isn’t exactly the most…how can I say this nicely…desirable.
Whether it’s winter, spring or summer break, here are 6 things that we do not miss about dorm life while we we’re away:
1. One-ply toilet paper
We know that two-ply is more expensive than one-ply, but come on. I’m not saying that we need to be supplied with Charmin Ultra Soft, but I’m not exactly a huge fan of the papyrus that they’re giving to us these days either. We aren’t paying $30,000 for this. I demand a refund! Or some new TP…either one works really.
2. Paper-thin walls
Don’t you just love when you’re on the verge of tears because you’re sleep deprived, and stressed out, and studying, and it’s already 1 a.m., and you hear your neighbor blasting “Anaconda” by Nicki Minaj AND YOU MIGHT JUST SCREAM BECAUSE YOU’VE ASKED THEM TO TURN DOWN THEIR MUSIC EIGHT TIMES, BUT THEY STILL WON’T DO IT? I feel you, girl.
3. Accidentally rubbing your back on the slimy shower wall
*Tear slowly rolls down side of cheek.* This is the absolute worst thing that can happen to you during a shower in one of the dorm bathrooms. I don’t know what that slime on the walls consists of, and I don’t think I want to know, but I can’t help but feel as though I just contracted at least six different diseases.
4. Lack of space inside the dorm rooms
To your left you will see the lovely bedroom area with clothes piled on top of the bed and crumbs from last night’s bedtime snack, compliments of the kitchen area, which you can see on your right. The beautiful living area is here, in the middle of the room. Just look at the TV that is placed right on top of the microwave. Behind you is the study, with a lovely desk covered in last week’s biology assignment, more clothes, and some sticky goop that may or may not be from breakfast this morning. Bonus points go to whoever can open the closet door without something falling from the top shelf. Smell? What smell? Oh. Yes, that is coming from the trash area, right next to the refrigerator. Sorry.
5. Seeing that hot guy that lives on your floor right after you get out of the shower
You’re fresh out of the shower. One hand is trying to stop your towel from falling off of your body while your other hand is trying to hold onto your soapy shower caddy. You’re looking hot with your hair plastered to your forehead and you’re probably still humming the same Ariana Grande song that you were belting out in the shower. You open up the door to enter the hallway, and BOOM. There he is. “Act natural,” you tell yourself as you slip in the hallway and almost fall flat on your butt. Nailed it.
6. On-campus Wi-Fi (or lack thereof)
The best part about living in the dorms is probably the impeccable Wi-Fi connection. It’s so consistent and always works when you really need it! …Just kidding. It’s awful. I, as well as any other person living on campus, can count numerous instances where I have been working on an important online assignment and all of a sudden *cue the tears* the Wi-Fi disconnected. I guess you just want me to fail out of school, don’t you?
Although it really is great to be back at school, these 10 things truly do put a damper on living in the dorms. I suppose us freshmen will just have to learn how to deal until we’re finally able to live in our own apartments. Until then…