Because when it comes down to finding a handsome, shofar-blowing, Aliyah-reading, ark-opening college boy, the competition is fierce.
1. You’re competing with hundreds of girls who have been groomed and trained to find their own NJB, so you constantly have to dress to impress.
It’s time to break out all of that poorly made hamsa and Star of David jewelry you haggled for on Ben Yehuda Street because five other girls already have their eyes set on that cutie.
2. You may even have to psych out the competition.
A wise rabbi once said: you gotta do what you gotta do.
3. When your grandmother asks if you have met anyone in front of your entire family.
This is absolutely a valid reason to stay on campus for the holidays.
4. And then your grandmother tries to set you up with someone from her congregation.
Nothing is quite as uncomfortable as when your bubby wedges you into a corner and introduces you to her friend’s grandson’s camp friend who is pre-law at Delaware.
5. When you and your friends go to the bar next to the doctor’s office because you’re bound to find a lonely Torah-worshipping doctor.
This is not the night to take too many shots and flirt with the guys buying them. Tell the bartender to water down all of your drinks for the night, and plan a secret signal between you and your friends to communicate when things get complicated.
6. When your camp friends find the JDate profile you were trying to keep a secret.
When the going gets tough, the tough make an online dating profile.
7. Then, you finally get a hit from someone who doesn’t look like an axe murderer.
Slow your roll girls – it isn’t time to change the Facebook status just yet.
8. You psych up the date all week until it’s finally time to get ready.
You’re wearing your finest bat mitzvah jewelry, and you’re ready to take on whatever the night may throw your way.
9. The morning after, it’s basically a given to meet your friends for bagels and coffee and discuss the happenings of the previous night.
10. And it usually goes a little something like this:
11. But Adam Levine warns us: don’t get too excited.
You may scare off hundreds of NJBs before you find the one for you, but that is just a part of the lifestyle we must accept.
12. Sometimes you think it’s hopeless, and you’ll never find the Isaac to your Rebecca…
Just try to keep calm and wait until Birthright to really start freaking out.
James and I are rooting for you.
DON’T LET US DOWN!
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