If you were to ask any girl in a happy relationship what holidays they look forward to the most, the majority would rattle off three major ones: Christmas, New Year’s Eve and Valentine’s Day. As if spending the first two holidays alone wasn’t bad enough, the constant reminder in every store that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner can feel like a jab at the painfully single. We all deal with this holiday in a variety of ways.
I’ve observed that there are 10 types of people you’re most likely to see on this love-filled day:
1. The Hopelessly Alone
Okay, let’s face it… we’ve all been here before. We’ve all sat on the couch, watched something like Love Actually and wondered why we were so lonely. We’ve thought, “I’m funny, smart and not completely hideous… why am I alone?” while shoving handfuls of popcorn into our mouths and crying over our seemingly pathetic lives. It happens to the best of us, and I can guarantee you that this Valentine’s Day, if you’re in the same boat, you can easily find someone else to join your sob fest. Just don’t resort to that someone being your ex – you’re better than that.
2. The Bitter One
Do you have that one friend that anytime you mention Valentine’s Day, a scowl instantly appears on her face? They probably fit into this category. Phrases often uttered by these characters can range from, “Valentine’s Day… gag me,” to, “This is a holiday made up by candy companies.” Nothing says life of the Valentine’s Day party like this person. Unless pessimism is something that won’t bring you down. If you’re in a vulnerable state during this season, avoid this person!
3. The Hopeless Romantic
No matter how you feel about Valentine’s Day, don’t go about crushing this one’s hopes and dreams. This is the person who has a heart straight out of a Disney movie and is a big advocate for “true love’s kiss” being the cure to all ailments. They’re most likely the people who will find the Hopelessly In Love couples (see number eight below) adorable instead of repulsive. This person has either never been hurt before or is able to put that in the past and still believe that the love of their life is out there. This less cynical breed is one we need to protect with our lives.
4. The One Who Reflects On Every Past Relationship
Valentine’s Day can bring out the absolute worst in people. Remembering what they don’t have can remind them of what they once did. This almost never ends well for them (or the friends who have to listen to them). To avoid potentially embarrassing texts or calls to the one who got away, these people should avoid being alone on Valentine’s Day at all costs. Make sure to remind this person that the one they’re trying to call needs to be kept in the past for a reason. In this case, remind them of their inner bitter Taylor Swift and emphasize that they should never get back together… like, ever.
5. The One Who Just Wants To Party It Off
This time of year means one thing for some – it’s time to party. These people can either travel in packs or more dangerously, alone. They have one real goal for the night, and that’s to forget what has been going on. This solution acts more as a Band-Aid fix.
Disclaimer: Drinking your sorrows away has potential to lead to you calling your ex… block all potentially embarrassing phone calls before your night out.
6. The One Who Could Care Less
They’re one of the fortunate ones. When February 14th rolls around, it’s just another day. These are the ones who you’ll see out getting dinner with friends or picking up the best snacks for their movie night. They’re most likely looking for someone to sweep them off their feet but aren’t going out of their way to do so. You won’t find them, “lying on the cold hard ground” like Taylor Swift or watching Dirty Dancing until they can completely reenact the dances. No, they go about their lives casually tiptoeing around the fragile, Hopelessly Alone and going on as if nothing happened.
7. The One Who Plans On Nursing An Unhealthy Obsession With Their Cat
Don’t have a significant other? No problem! This type of person will most likely find solace in the eyes of their four-legged friend. To be honest, you might not even see this person out and about on Valentine’s Day. They’ll most likely be found on their couch clinging to their cat for dear life and claiming that their cat is their “only friend” (Let’s be real, they’re probably better off – your pets are there for you when a significant other isn’t).
8. The Hopelessly In Love (not to be confused with the Hopeless Romantic)
You should work to avoid this person if you are any or all of the people listed above. This person is most likely the reason why many, myself included, hate Valentine’s Day. They’re the ones who are so in love with their significant others and just as in love with showing their affection for said “lover.” Some are the couples you envy, and others are the ones you want to run over with your car. Honestly, you can never seem to find the happy medium with couples like these on Valentine’s Day. I know we should give them that one day of the year to let their wild love fly… but I’d recommend just avoiding these people in general.
9. The Long Distance Lovers
You’ll most likely be able to spot these people at any restaurant or café with a Wi-Fi connection, but they won’t be alone. They’ll be at a table for two with their laptop facing them from the other side. Nothing says true love like spending your Valentine’s Day professing your love to a computer (think of the movie Her, and you’re halfway there). These couples are stronger than most, and if they’re able to make it work time zones apart, I guess we can look past their public FaceTiming just for a day.
10. The “I Don’t Need A Man” One
So, some of us experience certain stages of a breakup. They often involve the crying period, the angry period, the happy period, and the, “I’m a strong, independent woman who doesn’t need a man,” period. And some people, the stronger and usually much wiser, aren’t impacted by the woes that come with little old cupid running amuck. These people have always been there but seem to become very apparent when this season crawls out and onto the shelves of every Target. Personally, I strive to be one of these people and to them I say, “Right on!”
So, whether you find yourself happy alone, sprawled out on your floor searching for the open box of chocolates you bought for yourself and then proceeded to drop or planning on spending the night in the arms of your other half, Valentine’s Day is definitely a time of year to kick back and smell the roses… or burn them (to each their own). Just because you might feel alone doesn’t mean you can’t learn to be single and be okay with it. Until then, go order yourself a heart-shaped pizza, have them draw you a picture of Harry Styles on the box, share it with others who are dreading the holiday, and be merry!
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