Cougar, Sugar Daddy, Robbing the Cradle, Manther; all names and terms given people who date those who are younger than them. While women are criticized for going after and dating younger men, men are often idolized for “scoring a younger girl”. Not only are there inconsistencies in men vs. women dating age “acceptability”, but there is also unneeded stigma about it that needs some clarification and explanation.
There is a big difference between dating someone a couple years younger/older than you and dating someone who might not even be legal yet or is 10+ years older/younger. Age is just a number, right? Well, in most situations I am all for that. If you like someone, are both comfortable with the age gap and ARE HAPPY – who the heck cares how old each of you are.
…but what if that age gap causes different milestones in each partner’s life. What if one just qualified to rent a car (25) while the other just became able to get a tattoo on their own (18). What if one now qualifies for social security and the other is just now legal to drink. Then there are situations where one has been legally able to drink for a year and one is just a year shy of 21. Or maybe, you are both legally able to drink and one is now halfway to 50 and the other is closer to 21.
Now let me ask, which of these do you classify as weird for the male or female to be older in these situations? Does it matter? Would you think differently of the person if they were male or female? What is it to you to judge their relationship?
In most situations, men are often praised for getting a younger girl and while some situations may be okay, some are not and men are dating women- excuse me, girls- who are barely old enough to buy tampons. If you flip it, women are often criticized for dating a younger guy – no matter the age gap, whether it’s just a year or two, or dating a guy that is young enough to be their little brother.
One of the most notorious men who dated and had relations with women who were young enough to potentially be his granddaughters is Hugh Hefner. Praised, idolized and a role model to many, many men for being able to “get with” such young and attractive women. Whereas women like Madonna, JLo, Cameron Diaz and Kris Jenner are called cougars and said to be “robbing the cradle” and critiqued on their relationship more than men. How is it acceptable for men to date with large age differences but not acceptable for women to do so?
At first, the comments about being a cougar can be entertaining or humorous but after awhile they can get old. Being called those titles can and has caused women to overthink what was a perfectly, healthy relationship and reevaluate being in it. Over-thinking the relationship can cause unneeded tension, drama and a possible breakup; ruining what might have been a good thing for both parties. Now, I’m not saying I am an advocate for dating people who have such an age gap that the debate of ‘are they legal/is this illegal’ is a constant conversation but small age gaps that shouldn’t even matter shouldn’t be treated the same as the huge ones.
My outlook on all this is, if you are happy and your significant other is happy (and the relationship is legal/don’t want any awkward court cases), then who cares what the age difference is. The most important thing is that each person in the relationship feels comfortable and happy. Live your life and love who you love.