Whether we like to admit it or not, many people have a closer relationship with one parent compared to the other. Right or wrong, this often rings true and even we are not exempt to this favoritism:
Anonymous 1:
Around 8 PM most nights, I will make a call to my dad to talk about my day and how I’m feeling. We talk about the weather, what we both had to eat that day, how our work/school lives are going, our mental health and wellbeing, and countless other topics. I am super close with my dad and the main reason is because he knows how to listen. He actively listens to my problems and feelings and concerns and does everything he can to help, even if it just means listening to me complain about a shitty thing that happened on a particular day.
My mother on the other hand only likes to solve my problems. She doesn’t quite understand how to just listen to something I have to say. There is always something to fix when I talk to her. Whether that be my hair, my outfit, my weight, my makeup, my major, my life choices, my relationship, or countless other things that she picks out to judge me for on a particular day. There has never been a telephone call with my mother that included the words, “I hope you’re doing well and if you need anything don’t hesitate to call.”
The bulk of this rift between my mother and I happened while I was in my sophomore year of high school. I began to struggle with self-harm and I hid it from her for months even though I told my dad after a few weeks. She felt betrayed and hasn’t acted the same around me since.
I have tried for the past few years that I’ve been at school to stay connected with my mother. I try to call her at least once a week if I can or if she picks up the phone, but usually, even if she does pick up, the conversation only stays with phrases like, “how are you?”, and, “what’s the weather like up there?”, but nothing any deeper.
I sincerely love both of my parents, and I wouldn’t be the person I am today without them raising me. I wouldn’t have the strength, confidence, self-esteem or power that I possess now if it weren’t for their guidance. For the time being though, I connect with my father more and while I have tried to mend things with my mother, it just isn’t in the cards for anytime soon.
Anonymous 2:
“Momma’s boy” “Daddy’s girl”. These (although sometimes annoying) phrases usually indicate which parent you prefer or are closest with. They are common terms that many use, but they aren’t always true. Some children prefer the opposite. I am not a daddy’s girl but I prefer my dad over my mom. My mom and I have a lot of differences and when I say a lot, I’m talking about complete opposite spectrum, Zeus vs. Hades kind of differences. My dad and, on the other hand,d have a lot of similarities. We have the same personality, the same humor, a lot of the same likes and dislikes, same weirdness and even the same birthday.
When I was younger, I liked both parents. I don’t remember spending more time with one parent versus the other. As the youngest of four, I was bounced around a lot. As I got older, it was clear that I liked my dad more than I liked my mom. Which makes me feel bad for saying because it probably wouldn’t make my mom feel very good but it’s the truth. My mom was always usually the bad cop and my dad was the good cop. He used to take my sister and I to Eat n’ Park when he came home from work late just so we could have another dessert. My parents got divorced when I was six and every time I went to my dad’s it was always a fun time. He made the most of the time he had with us whereas my mom just complained about it when we came back and was never in a good mood.
I don’t talk to my dad all the time, but we have a strong enough relationship where we don’t have to and things are still just fine. He always knows what to say and when to say it but leaves room for us to grow as individuals and adults. He doesn’t try to smother us and is very independent which is why I favor him over my mom. He’s a very simple man who had four rules; don’t get arrested, don’t make me a grandfather, don’t wind up on the news and don’t do anything that will kill you. I remember telling my dad that I failed a semester and he took me out for breakfast and told me talked me out of feeling bad and made me determined to do better. He, overall, just makes you feel like a good person and of course, the dad jokes are always a bonus.
Anonymous 3:
It is almost a given if we are close friends you will hear me say I miss my mom at some point during the school year (or week). My mom is literally, and I mean LITERALLY, a super mom. She does absolutely everything for our family to the point where I don’t think they could function without her for more than a day.
She has been there for every moment of my life, no matter how trying or even boring. There isn’t a week that goes by that I don’t call her separately just to chat between classes or if anything happens, good or bad, that I want to tell her about. I am more than lucky to have such a great relationship with my mom, even though my one with my dad is lacking. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I’ll never really have a close relationship or bond with my dad. I may be tough to get to open up, but if it doesn’t interest him it has never been relevant. In all honesty, I am not positive he could tell me exactly what I am majoring in.
But again, this is something I have come to terms with for myself, just not for my younger sibling. It can be hard because our dad tends to get angry when my mom ends up being the good guy or the favorite. Although this favoritism isn’t based on her giving us presents or spoiling us, it is because she just cares more, honestly, she cares a hundred time more than he could even try to match. He is not a horrible dad by any means, but as you get older sometimes you realize that some people just aren’t the nurturing type, and that’s fine, but children need their parents and not everyone is as lucky as I am to have a mother that does enough for ten parents.