Name: Austin Franchi
Class: 2016
Hometown: Well, technically I’m from a village, Waban. It’s one of thirteen in Newton, Ma.
Status: In a bit of a dry spell, but can you write “it’s complicated” for that one?
Best Feature: I have a skin tag next to my left ear. I got it cut off as a kid but grew back so now it’s like a permanent pimple. I think this really speaks to the resilience of my character. I also have good knees. Look at the cartoon Hercules to get an idea of what I’m talking about. That guy had great knees. Tragically, knees have fallen by the wayside in our society. Honorable mentions would include my lower back strength, and in the right light, my cheek bones. Also I’m pretty good in Excel. Definitely wish I had more of a chin because I sort of look like a thumb with a face, but beggars can’t be choosers.
Pick up line: Ever see a skin tag?
Superpower: Who needs a super power when you have power of friendship! Also to be Superman minus the kryptonite.
Dance move: Surra de Bunda (look it up)
Yoga pants or Deep V-neck: I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again: we Franchis were cursed with an awful shoulder-to-collar-bone ratio; hanging a deep-v on this frame would be criminal. Trust me, I’ve tried. Besides, yoga pants have a certain tightening effect that could do me some good.
Marry, Kiss, Punch: You sort of sold me up the river on this one, but I will say this: I love Ellen, she’s got charisma in droves, and I thought Sean Kingston was already dead. I mean, I for one haven’t been on a jet ski since ‘08.
Embarrassing Moment: It depends who you ask. I’m a pretty aggressive late night texter and it usually doesn’t end well for ol Austy.
Fun fact about yourself: My spirit animal is a mountain goat.