Everyone has crushes. They’re a natural and (unfortunately) unavoidable part of having feelings. Not knowing if your crush likes you can be painful, but knowing that they already have a girlfriend can be an even worse feeling. Being a homewrecker and destroying the relationship for your own interests is certainly no way to go. So what’s a girl to do? Here are 7 things you can do when your crush has already been snatched up.
#1 – Respect That He’s Unavailable and Back Off
Obviously your crush likes his girlfriend for a reason… and he probably wouldn’t like it if he thought somebody was trying to hurt her. AND If you were his girlfriend, how would you feel if somebody was flirting with your boyfriend and actively trying to take him away from you? You wouldn’t want to cause tension by purposely trying to steal him away, or hurt yourself when he realizes what you’re doing and thinks you’re psycho. So in order to move on and keep the peace, you need to accept the fact that he is with somebody else and back off.
#2 – Stay Off of His Social Media Accounts
As thrilling as it can be sometimes be to creep and see what he’s up to (admit it, we’ve all done it), you don’t want to stumble upon pictures of things you wouldn’t want to see, such as him and his girlfriend. Getting over your feelings and moving on will not be made any easier by reminding yourself of what you’re missing out. So stay off his (and her) social media accounts entirely, and you’ll be on your way to pushing it out of your mind.
#3 – Quietly Rid of Your Jealousy
At first you might get super jealous. So jealous in fact, that it makes you want to scream, shout, hit things, throw things, you name it. However, that would not be good. You’d look crazy and could potentially make things awkward between you and your crush. Nothing is worse than having so many feelings and having to bottle them inside, so find a way to quietly (and non-violently) let out all of the negative emotions. Having a close friend you can vent to can help a lot, offering both comfort and a place to safely release your plethora of emotions. Other methods of release can include but are certainly not limited to journaling, meditating, eating lots of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream…. As long as you don’t take your jealousy out on him or his girlfriend.
#4 – Stay Friends in Case Something Changes
Unless you’re hopelessly in love with him and the thought of being just friends is unbearable, stay his friend. You like him for a reason right? You two have a connection and have a good time together. If anything else, this way, you still get to keep a great friend around. By remaining friends you will (most likely) know if him and his girlfriend head to splitsville. By being there to support him and comfort him in his time of need and sadness, you might just become who he wants. You never know what can happen!
#5 – Let yourself hurt, but don’t put yourself in a place to be hurt.
We are human. It is normal to feel sadness, anger, love, and all sorts of emotions. To try and deprive ourselves of feeling those things would go against human nature. You can never begin to get over this “issue” if you don’t face the problem to begin with. However, don’t put yourself in a place you know will hurt you. If being around him is just a constant reminder of what and who you can’t have, stay away. If talking to him doesn’t do anything but make you sad, stop talking to him. And if he and his woman don’t seem to be going anywhere anytime soon, try and move on. That way you’re not pining over someone you can’t have for a long time. This all may be hard but it’ll lessen the heartbreak in the long run.
#6 – Do not become the other woman.
Say he does show interest in you. Great! But say he also is still with his girlfriend… Great? Not so much. By being the other woman you are not only becoming a home-wrecker, which is not a reputation any girl wants to have, but you are lowering your standards and respect for yourself. If he is willing to cheat on his girlfriend with you, what’s stopping him from cheating on you with somebody else? You deserve somebody with a good moral conscience who will treat you as you deserve to be treated.
#7 – Learn to love yourself.
As cheesy as it may sound, learning to love yourself may be the most important step of all. Nothing is sexier than confidence. And if you can’t learn to love and accept yourself as you are, how can you ever expect a man to? Never lower your standards or self respect for a man because that’s just giving him the go ahead to treat you like dirt. When you’re truly happy with yourself, that’ll show through positively in your relationships with people as well. So smile, and be happy, because you deserve the absolute best!