I would wager a guess that most of us have joked about getting a sugar daddy while in college. After all, college is super expensive, and even if you’re working full-time, you probably don’t have much money to spend on yourself. Many of you probably haven’t seriously consider actually being a sugar baby for fear of judgement or the moral grey area in which it falls. If you’ve ever considered it or wondered about it, these are my experiences.
Let me begin by clarifying that having a sugar daddy is not like prostitution. Sugar relationships can be long-term relationships, they are based on a genuine emotional connection, and most women don’t have more than one sugar daddy at a time. Although there is a financial component to having a sugar daddy, it is not income so much as a little extra financial security from someone who wants to help.
I am very comfortable with my sexuality. I enjoy it, and I am not ashamed of that. As a very busy student, regular dating was pretty difficult for me, and, let’s be real, eligible bachelors were simply not lining up. I even tried online dating: Tinder, Bumble, E-Harmony— you name it. Of course, there were options, but settling for a guy I was lukewarm about is something I refuse to do. I’ve also always known that I like older men and that I have a hard time connecting with people my own age.
You’re probably wondering where someone finds a sugar daddy. Much like everything lately, there a million apps on the market to help people connect. One day, I downloaded two of them and made profiles, originally as a joke. I was absolutely shocked at the sheer number of men using the sites. Most of the apps work a lot like Tinder, but they include information like income, profession, relationship status, and various lifestyle questions.
There are a wide variety of people on the apps. Some are married, and I have made the choice to stay far away from them. Some are divorced or single. Some have kids. They have all sorts of occupations and hobbies. Some are looking for a long-term relationship, and others are just in town for the weekend. When I first joined, I was worried that they would all be gross old men trying to get their hands on someone younger, but a few minutes on the apps showed me that I held a lot of misconceptions about what a sugar daddy was.
After chatting with some people online, I set up some meets for coffee because I didn’t want to commit to anything with someone I wasn’t really attracted to. And along the way, I ended up meeting someone great. I never really expected to end up in this kind of relationship, but I’ve never felt so in charge of my life. I have a relationship that suits my needs with a man that I can relate to very well, and I am completely happy with my decision.
A lot of people have asked if I feel like a gold-digger because I can see the incomes of men before I decide whether or not to talk to them. The same way that many people choose partners on what they look like and what they want to do in the future and what they spend time doing now, financial stability is important to me because it shows a certain level of maturity. I’ve worked for as long as I’ve been old enough, so I appreciate a man with a stable career because I can’t relate to people who’ve never held a job or supported themselves. Sugar relationships are not based on income.
I do not feel weird about the fact that my sugar daddy is older than me. I do have an upper age limit I am not willing to cross, but I really enjoy dating older men. We have a lot in common and we can talk for hours without getting bored of each other, which is something I’ve never had with someone my own age.
I think that, at the end of the day, you just have to be comfortable with your decisions. I was perfectly happy single, and I am perfectly happy now. I have no qualms about who I am or what my relationship is. If you think that having a sugar daddy is for you, I encourage you to check out the scene. You may find yourself exactly where you wanted to be, or, at the very least, you’ll have gained a new perspective on something most people use a joke.
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