We all have bad days, but sometimes there are BAD days. Whether it’s peeing your pants in a public venue or a very blatant walk of shame, a good dose of humiliation can seem like the end of the world. However, the upside is this: the more traumatizing the circumstance, the more hilarious it is when looked back upon.
Feeling unlucky today? Do you feel like the universe is conspiring against you? For the purpose of laughter and perhaps even reasurrance that you’re not the only one cursed with misfortune, here are a few stories sent by anonymous fellow Pitt students. Enjoy the utter degredation.
“An incredibly attractive man was walking behind me when I left the laundromat. I try my best to get my model strut on when I hear ‘excuse me.’ Thinking I’m about to meet my future husband, I turn around to see him holding a heinous pair of my clean granny panties that had fallen out of my basket. ‘I think you dropped these.’ Mortified, I said ‘no’ and ran home.”
“One night last year, my roommate and I had a few people over and we were all drinking. For whatever reason, (I blame peer pressure) I got really really drunk. So I called it a night and went to bed. I’m told that about a half hour later, I came out of my room and proceeded to crawl to the bathroom with my pants falling down while a couple of our friends were still there.”
“One time, my mom, my grandma, and I were all playfully arguing. I stomped out of my grandma’s front door and stuck my head back in. I said something sassy to them and I slammed the door shut. The thing is, I forgot to take my head out of the door, so I basically crushed my head. I stayed home from school for three days because I gave myself a concussion.”
“I was visiting my boyfriend in Kent, and I had 13 Jell-O shots and 3 regular shots. I thought I was going to throw up so I bent over on the sidewalk. It was a false alarm and I tried to stand back up, but I lost my balance and fell face-first onto the pavement. My face was completely scuffed up after.”
“I was walking down the hall above me and went to go down the stairs. There were two guys in the doorway and I tried to get past them but they were in the way. So I said, ‘excuse me,’ and they just kind of stared at me. So I pushed one of the guys a little bit and opened the door. I took one step in and noticed it was their room. I was so embarrassed I didn’t even look at them, said sorry, and ran away. I don’t even remember what they look like.”
“I went out with my coworker in Southside, and her brother who lives in Southside came out with us too. As the night progressed he was starting to look real good to me, so I ended up going home with him… After we did the deed, I decided that I was thirsty and I needed a drink of water. Apparently I needed it so badly that I did not have time to put on any of my clothing. We went downstairs to the kitchen. But to get to the kitchen from his room, you have to walk through the living room. When we reached the living room we realized that there were six fully clothed humans hanging out in there. So did I sprint back up the stairs and throw some clothing on? Nope. Did I hurry through the living room and get my water as quickly as possible? Nope… Instead I decided that the best bet was to hang out (butt ass naked) with the strangers. Naturally, I was mortified the next morning when I woke up and found out about what I had done. The worst part is that I still see this guy from time to time, and every once in a while when I go to introduce myself to his friends, they already recognize me…. all of me… from that night.”
Do you feel better? Now the next time you sit in red paint the one day you wear white pants, remind yourself that you are at least fully clothed, and your granny panties are safely hidden from any male’s field of vision.