You see a cute boy sitting across the room, and the two of you make eye contact. If this were a movie, one of you would go introduce yourself. You would exchange numbers, and then you would wait for him to call or text you, or you would hope that you run into him again soon. But this isn’t a movie. One of you gets a text and looks down at it and the moment is lost. You both end up checking your phones, and no one says a word.
I must confess I love my cell phone as much as the next person. I don’t go anywhere without it, and I rarely go an hour without checking it. Not to mention, as someone who gets nervous in social situations, my cell phone has made communicating with new people remarkably easier for me. Not to mention, Tinder is a wonderful distraction when studying for midterms and finals, and it provides a wonderful ego boost. Dating sites and online chat options, although I don’t personally subscribe to them, have opened up dating for a lot of people that may not have believed they could find anyone before.
Despite all of this, the truth is that cell phones and technology have destroyed dating as we know it. It goes without saying that the dating game has changed significantly since our parents were young adults. Gone are the days of romantic, long-winded love letters and secret late-night phone calls. Cell phones have made it almost impossible for us to have the fairytale dating experience we’ve always dreamed of.
A lot of times, it starts with the missed connection. Your “would’ve, could’ve, should’ve,” or the one that got away because neither of you were bold enough to look up from your phone. Think about it. How many times have you missed an opportunity to potentially talk to the perfect someone because it was easier to keep looking at your phone or you didn’t want to seem weird for approaching him because that’s not something that’s commonplace anymore? But if you do actually manage to make the connection, then what happens?
There’s a good chance you’ll exchange numbers and possibly add each other on all sorts of social media, because who doesn’t love getting a new follower? You’ll start texting day in and day out. Texting has almost complete replaced dating. Instead of spending time together getting to know each other in person, we text nonstop. We look through their Facebook accounts and stalk their Twitter likes. In some relationships, we are so insecure that a single like on the post of another girl is cause for argument. Our connection by phone and through social media has eliminated the separation that is so important in healthy and functional relationships.
And there’s a good chance that after you text back and forth, you’ll make plans. Maybe you’ll go to dinner, see a movie or roam the mall for a while. How many times have you watched couples sitting at dinner in a nice restaurant and doing nothing but scrolling on their phones? Instead of enjoying each other’s company, we take the time to catch up on Twitter and Facebook and check our email. All the wonderful memories you could make together are replaced by texting and tweeting. Once again, the machine in our pocket wins.
So what do we do? How do we keep our fairytale dreams alive? It starts with being brave and aware. Introduce yourself and strike up a conversation with the cute boy. Resist the urge to text him every chance you get. Resist the urge to double and triple text when he doesn’t answer right away. Call him sometimes just to talk. Stay out of his likes on social media. Recognize that a social media presence doesn’t make any relationship more legitimate than another. Go out to dinner and talk. Put the cell phones away and simply enjoy the time you’re spending together. Let’s take back the dating game.