College is a time to explore and have new experiences. We have all heard that at least a few dozen times in the past year, and what better way to fulfill this than by reliving the experiences felt with Justin Timberlake or Ashton Kutcher?
…yes you can pick both.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, a FWB relationship is truly a different experience to the usual relationship, especially with the “right” guy.
Okay Ryan, only if you insist.
A relationship based purely on the physical attraction consisting of sex and no emotional roller-coasters sounds just as good as a 4.0 (or is it even better?) However, as you spend more and more time together you naturally begin to question whether you want something more meaningful and emotional—considering that you already know the guy is great in bed.
Here are three ways in which you can lead the relationship into the direction you want, and for any of you ladies who are perfectly fine with maintaining things the way they are…avoid these situations.
1. Spend time out of the bedroom.
More than FWB: Meet him outside of the bedroom occasionally. Hang out with him and go to places that interest you both. The more you spend time with him in a context not associated with sex, the more likely he’ll consider you as something more than just a FWB. It is still advised that you continue having sex; I mean that’s how it all started, right?
Maintain FWB: Unless you’re having sex in the shower, or at some undisclosed area you should not roam outside the boundaries of the bed. Bonus tip: convince him to buy a memory foam.
2. Get to know him.
More than FWB: Ask him how his day has been, what his hobbies are; find out if you’re truly interested in being in a relationship with him. Bombarding him with questions is probably not the best idea—be subtle.
Maintain FWB: Skip the small talk, or keep it to a minimum. Go in, enjoy yourself, and get out.
3. Social Circle.
More than FWB: Introduce him to your friends and have him more involved with them (no, I’m not suggesting you share him in that way). The more the people that matter in your life approve of him, the less they’ll care about the initial reason the two of you liked each other.
Maintain FWB: If you’re going to introduce him to your friends and family, you might as well just formally accept the fact that the FWB is over. Your girlfriends won’t let you hear the end of it, and considering the judgmental remarks you’ll receive, you can just spare yourself a headache and keep this wonderful blessing of sex without drama to yourself.
Since the chemistry between the two of you is already there, developing the FWB into a more “normal” relationship won’t be hard. On the other hand, if maintaining things the way they are is your goal then one must come to terms that FWB relationships do usually come with an expiration date and whoever questions that should seriously consider changing it into something more (or just letting it go!)
Stammi bene, principessa.
Milo Gunasinghe