I love my long distance relationship. I love missing him, I love being homesick over him, I love envying the couples walking down the street. I’ve spent my entire college career in a long distance relationship (yes, with the same guy), and I could not be happier or more proud of what we’ve accomplished. I can’t say all of this without saying that yes, we have had rough times, and yes, I have wondered what it would be like if it were different, but I would not change a single minute of it.
I don’t consider myself a relationship expert at all, but I do think I know what I’m talking about with this. So, here are my tips for making a long distance relationship easier:
1. Actually Talk to Your Significant Other.
Texting is great if you want to talk while you’re in class or just to check in throughout the day, but it’s nowhere near as personal as an actual phone conversation. Hearing about their day or just BS-ing while you clean or do homework can make it so much more fun. If you live alone, you can even put your phone on speaker and pretend that they’re in the room talking to you. Just make sure that you listen to them and make them feel like you genuinely want to hear about the pizza they had for lunch or what someone said in their class. As simple as it sounds, a lot of us forget how good it can feel to just sit down and talk to someone, especially if that someone is your significant other. A quick “good morning” or “goodnight” call can make your day that much better.
2. Shake up the Communication.
Using the same method of communication can get monotonous, so it’s important to mix it up every once in a while. Sending an occasional email can be a nice surprise when they’re sifting through their inbox. Snapchat is great too, because you can send each other snippets of your day or see how cute they look. There’s also the ever so romantic tradition of letter writing. A handwritten letter is the sweetest, most personal, and best thing ever—and it’s always exciting to get mail that isn’t asking for money. Seeing in writing how much you mean to someone is wonderful; plus you can read it as many times as you want. Bonus: Outdo Nicholas Sparks and spray it with your perfume before you send it! Very romantic, and I can guarantee they’ll open it over and over again.
3. Send that Special Someone Something Special.
Everyone loves getting gifts, especially when the gifts are unexpected. So, send your S.O. one! It doesn’t have to be expensive, just find something you know they would like and have it shipped to them. For example, my boyfriend is a biochemistry major, so a while ago I sent him a mug with the structure of caffeine drawn on it that I found in the clearance section of a novelty gift site. It only cost about $5 and definitely made his day. It’s all about giving them little reminders of you when they can’t have the actual you.
4. The Most Important Piece of Advice You Will Ever Receive About Your LDR…
There are many things you can do to try to make your relationship work. But, without this single, itty bitty thing your relationship will crash and burn. Are you ready for this? Brace yourself, it’s a doozy: trust them. A long distance relationship is the biggest test of trusting your boyfriend/girlfriend, and you have to pass it to make it work. Constantly worrying if they’re cheating will drive you insane, even if you’re right. But, it’ll hurt whether you suspect it or not, so there’s no use in losing sleep worrying. You can’t be too clingy, either. Let them experience college, but more importantly, let yourself experience it, too. Hang out with friends, go out, do whatever. Let them do all those things too. Keeping yourselves locked up will make you miserable and lead to resentment. You’ll probably have more things to talk about when you’re having fun anyway! Then when you do get to see each other, you can take them places you go and experience it all over again.
Long distance relationships are arguably the most beautiful relationships because it depends exclusively on the people in the relationship. If two people want to be together, distance can’t stop it. Only the ones in the relationship control it. Sure, there are cute things you can do to make them smile, but that’s it. It’s the ultimate test, and I sincerely hope your relationship passes.
Photo credit: 1, author’s own