We all have those people in life who just drive us absolutely insane. I’m talking the people who just know exactly what buttons to push, and never fail to get under your skin. There is something about the concept of revenge that is deliciously tempting. I find myself to be a very vengeful person in my mind, but I can never go through with it because I just don’t have it in me. It probably stems from the fact that I can’t stay mad at anyone for more than like, 30 minutes. However, for those of you who can stay mad and want a clever way to get back at those who’ve wronged you, I have composed a short list of services where you can ship your enemies a little surprise…
1. Ship Your Enemies Glitter
Glitter. Glitter is the herpes of the crafting world purely for the fact that its crazy messy. For example: you use glitter to spice up some craft you make, maybe a project or posterboard for something like the Student Activities Fair. Three weeks later, you are probably still finding specks of glitter in your hair and socks. It unavoidably gets everywhere. For just $9.99 you can ship your enemies glitter through the “OG Glitter Bomb”, a singing birthday card with glitter for $13.99, or for $14.99 the “Do Not Eat Cupcake”. And yes, it is completely anonymous.
Visit the home page here.
2. Eggplant Mail
Yes, you did read that correctly. For just under $8, this startup is offering to send your enemies a tasteful message written in sharpie on, yes, a real eggplant. Not sure what this really accomplishes, since you can’t eat the eggplant anyways because its laden with Sharpie.. but I guess it’s kind of funny in a millenial-emoji subtext kind of way. Poor Carol.
Visit the home page here.
3. Prank Candles
Okay, I’m not a revenge person, but this one is pretty good. This company, WTF Candles manufactures candles that start off smelling great with scents like coffee, clean laundry, apple pie and fresh forest pine. These scents quickly turn rancid with scents like dirty diaper, skunk, and sweaty gym socks. A stroke of genius if you dislike someone enough to send them one at just $11.95 per candle.
Visit the home page here.
4. Dead Flowers / Fish / Melted Chocolates
This site is a bit pricier than the previous ones, but offers to send your enemies a variety of “gifts”. Among these are dead flowers from $19.99 – $24.99, a box of melted chocolates for $24.99, or a “dead, smelly fish” for $19.99. Some of the packages even come with a nasty letter. Isn’t that special?
Visit the home page here.
5. Nothing
There is beauty in simplicity. Also by WTF Candles, you can send your enemies an empty box with funny labels on the side like “Live Animals” or “High Claim Item” or just a plain empty box for just $5.95. If you’re feeling extra annoying, you can send a “Boxception Prank”; a box within another box, within another box… you get the point, for just $10.
Visit the home page here.
Now, I know I just wrote a whole article on how you can send your enemies X, Y and Z, but remember that its always best to take the high road! And not to spend your money on something so meaningless, because we all know that being a college student in New York City invents a new class of ‘broke’. Rise above your “enemies” and maybe even forgive them, because nobody’s perfect. Holding a grudge is a pretty big waste of time, its always better not to hold onto anger and to just let it go and go your separate ways. But I know I can’t force you to do anything, so if you choose to do so, revenge with caution, please!