To all my extroverted friends,
Being an extrovert or an introvert is not something that is black and white. I’d label myself a “forced extrovert,” if I had to, but my tendencies usually align with introverted personality types. On a regular day, with coffee full throttle and a good night’s rest, I’ll be all smiles and more than happy to talk your ears off.
In a week of testing, studying, sitting in lecture halls, working, not sleeping well, and sleeping over my coffee time, I want to find time for silence, or to walk alone, or journal quickly in a break between activities. My silence and short answers are not words (or lack thereof) of aggression in any capacity.
I need you to understand that hearing more negative thoughts sends me spiraling into never-ending negativity inside my own head. While I understand you need to vent, I can only bear to hear it so many times before I shut down and begin panicking inside myself. In times like these, I don’t even allow my extroverted self out, and in a group setting I will undoubtedly stop what I began to say or fade out during a conversation, which brings me to another important point….
It drains me to be in a group setting for too long, or for too many times. I like spending time alone with you. It recharges me without me being completely lonely. When you bail on our plans for just us, I might take it personally, and I can’t promise that I won’t try to fade out of the entire friendship if I feel like you cannot understand this, or feel like you didn’t sign up for a friendship that was ever really one-on-one. At that point, I don’t feel like you are close enough to me for us to really be friends.
None of this is me being rude, or meaning to be rude, but just observations from my point of view. I might be a little sad and nostalgic about our close friendship together, but moving around a lot from a young age taught me that sometimes people grow apart and drift away –and that’s okay. I have no hard feelings towards you if I start to isolate myself and focus on the people that give me more one-on-one attention, and I don’t think you should have negative feelings towards me either.
Best of luck,
Your introverted friend