Since being immersed in college life for a few weeks, I thought going home for a weekend would be a good idea. And turns out I was so wrong.
I ended up in the same rut I was in when I first moved in. Move-in day was honestly the hardest day of my life thus far; I left behind everything familiar and comfortable for something new and scary.
My family and I have always been very close, and the little things we did together were the ones I cherished the most. I missed having random movie nights, or all of us being home for a simple dinner. When I went home, all those feelings rushed back to me like a tsunami.
I began to pack the minute I got back from classes, and the excitement was almost bursting out of me. I had hours to kill before actually leaving campus, as I had to wait for my friend who was also going home, and was willing to give me a ride. I double and triple checked to make sure I had everything I could possibly need for the next two days. I was waiting in the lobby of my residence hall, watching an app that let’s me see where my parents location, until I finally saw my dad’s car pull into view.I never ran out of that building so fast. And what made it even better was that my parents had brought my little niece to surprise me. It couldn’t have been more perfect! However, as soon as I pulled into the driveway all that excitement immediately turned to complete and utter fear. Being home was nice, but since the break was so short, I was petrified of getting too comfortable and not wanting to come back. Although, an hour and a half isn’t too far, but it’s enough to send my anxiety soaring.
Sadly, I spent my entire weekend unable to eat, sleep, or do anything without crying. Coming back was the worst feeling just like move-in day was, except less rushed, which made it even harder for me to leave it all behind again. I couldn’t help but break down while we got to our midway stop, our local mall. The entire time we were at the mall I couldn’t stop looking at my parents while holding back tears, as I realized I wouldn’t see them in person for another four or five weeks. And this may not seem long for some people, but for me it feels like an eternity. We finished our shopping stop sooner than I had anticipated, which only made my emotions run higher.
Going back to campus was a blessing and a curse. I had grown accustomed to living in a dorm for the past four weeks but when I had to say goodbye to my parents once again, I couldn’t stop myself from crying. Needless to say, it was hard moving past the homesickness again and having to juggle between school work, extracurricular activities and still maintaining a social life.
My advice for anyone who thinks it’s a good time for them to go home for a weekend is to take a second to consider the positive and negative attributes of going home. Although I had convinced myself that I was adjusted to this new life, I was still homesick in my heart and mind, and it resurfaced as soon as I got back. Going home should be an exciting time to see family and old friends, not a time of anxious tears and sorrow. But, it’s something that so many college kids must do in order to receive the education they need, and eventually I know this transition will become easier each time.