As much as other diseases are being highlighted in the media these days, it’s time to shine a spotlight on one of the most devastating social diseases experienced by many women throughout the world constantly: female bullying. It has the power to destroy relationships and be severely damaging. You see it from elementary school right on up through college and on into the adult years.
According to Clinical Trials, a service of the U.S. National Institutes of Health, relational aggression, also known as “female bullying,” is a type of psychological aggression in which inconspicuous tactics are used to harm other people and their relationships. Some of these tactics include:
• Humiliation
• Intimidation
• Coercing
• Shaming
• Malicious teasing
• Shunning
• Other forms of emotional abuse in an attempt to harm others
In elementary school, the bully could have been the girl that shared her glitter crayons with all of her friends in class but made a point to let you know you weren’t invited to use them. Maybe it was the girl in your chemistry class in high school who stood by with a group of girl friends, all of them snickering every time you walked by. And how about those girls you hang out with who make a point of nonchalantly rubbing it in your face that you were left out of the fun plans they have made together, just to be mean? Let’s not exclude that group of friends who all give you the silent treatment, ganging up on you together and pretending that you don’t even exist just to make a point. Did I forget to shine a light on the woman in the office who “forgets” to add your name to the list of coworkers on the office’s funny emailing list? Sadly, the list of examples could go on and on.
In a 2014 survey done by the Workplace Bullying Institute, Gender and the Bullying Experience, a staggering 68 percent of bullying cases in the office were between women. That’s a lot of girl-on-girl crime!
Women may not even realize the emotional toll they are causing another with their bullying tactics.
According to Dr. Cheryl Dellasega, an expert on relational aggression, studies have found links between relational aggression and eating disorders, depression, somatic symptoms, teen pregnancy and even suicide.
This is an alarming wake-up call to women out there; not just for the bullied but for the bullies, too. Much of female bullying stems from women who are insecure in themselves and feel the need to build themselves up by tearing others down. That sends an alarming message that we have a world full of insecure, hurting women out there who don’t feel like they are good enough and need to be mean to others to move up in the world.
It’s time to take a stand against this incredibly destructive phenomenon. We all deserve to feel confident in ourselves and secure in this world. The best way to take a stand is by raising awareness to help create a change in dialogue, shift attitudes, and be a catalyst for behavioral change. Women need to stand together, instead of tearing one another apart.
Make the decision not to be a female bully and spread the word to encourage others to do the same. If you know someone who is being bullied, stand up for them. Bullying is never OK and refusing to allow it creates a chain reaction by sending a message that mean, hurtful behavior will not be tolerated. If you are the victim of a female bully, be strong and take a stand. Change the dialogue. Don’t let other women make you feel inferior. Raise awareness about the damaging effects of female bullying, and most importantly, know how wonderful of an individual you are. You are loved, you are wanted, you are talented, you are beautiful.
In a world that is hard enough on women, we don’t need to be hard on one another, too.