Ever wonder what guys are really thinking? Want to know if they are analyzing things the same way with their friends as we do with ours? If you answered yes to these questions then you are not alone because all of us here at Her Campus feel the same way. We have recruited a real life college guy to give you the inside scoop on the interworkings of the male brain. The subject this week? The art of texting.
Girls often overanalyze the situation when someone is taking a long time to answer a text. Do guys do that too?
Short answer: Yes.
I know I do. It’s probably not one of our stronger moments, but it’s just human nature. If you were having a face-to-face conversation and, after something you said, your friend simply walked away, what would you do? You’d go back through the conversation in your head, trying to find out what you did to offend them. You’d maybe call out to them: “Wait, what’s wrong?” Heck, It wouldn’t be at all surprising to react angrily to this fairly rude behavior.
Sadly, while simply leaving a conversation is strange in the real world, it’s become a fairly standard, even cherished, aspect of texting. This only increases confusion. Without body language or situational awareness to draw upon, all of the above reactions now clash with our shared understanding of how texting works. Men and women both experience this – perhaps men are less vocal about it because they believe traits such as over-whelming confidence and aloofness are attractive to women, but no one is ever comfortable with sudden text-silence.
The best way to save yourself from stress and anxiety in these situations is, of course, trust. You can spin your wheels for days to no avail, or simply trust that whoever you’re texting has had to take care of pressing business or has become distracted by a video-game or has fallen asleep etc. It’s hard to do, but if you can learn to trust people before doubting them, you’ll find their power over you strangely diminished – a sudden text-silence will mean that much less than before. The strongest people are always the ones who allow others close to their heart.
Just remember: if you can’t trust someone to have a good reason when they stop texting you, they’re not worth your time.
Who should start the conversation?
Short Answer: Whoever wants to.
Starting a conversation is not easy. It’s an extremely vulnerable position we bravely put ourselves in every day. For reasons I’ve never understood, we have it built into our minds that interest is a sign of deference and apathy a sign of power. Every time you go to speak to a stranger, or even a friend, a tiny voice in our mind is worriedly chattering away, “God, I hope they want to talk to me, I hope they like me, I hope I’m not annoying them” as if this person’s business is automatically more important simply because they didn’t come speak to YOU.
I’m fairly certain these fears are hard-wired deep into our psyche, so it would be deeply unfair to expect either member of a relationship to consistently put themselves in that vulnerable place. Instead, we should work to eliminate these stigmas of deference by remembering that the most powerful people in the world are the interested ones. The people who care are the happiest. The more vulnerable you can make yourself to the world, the more the world will give back in understanding and opportunity. People should be desperately trying to get in the first word of a new friendship.
Just remember: if you go out on a limb and start a conversation with someone who makes you feel worse for it, they’re not worth your time.
Do guys screenshot messages to send to their friends like girls do?
Not that I’m aware of. If we have to show each other something (which, it must be said, is rare) we either wait to show them the actual text in person or, more often, just paraphrase.
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