Women today tend to base their worth off others’ opinions of them, and I can honestly admit I am a major victim of following this mindset. We think it validates our entire self-worth and if we do not receive that external approval, a low self-esteem starts to build, creating this fragile separate entity within us that others control. Then, we change our personality, behavior, and image in order to receive that desired reaction from the world around us. Isn’t it called SELF-esteem? Yet, it has nothing to do with the way we see ourselves, because one false opinion can make that arrow on our imaginative self-esteem monitor come spiraling down. Women, and I myself, need to stop doing this. We let people have control over our identity and worth, and where does that leave us? Not in a good place; am I right? Now, let’s try to make a change. It’s crazy how even a little thing can cause the body to come crashing down, but it is also amazing how even the smallest of things can build a person’s confidence.
Stop pretending to be someone you are not.
Now, let’s start loving ourselves ladies. Start doing things for you, and not for someone else. Here are some simple, yet valuable tips to make you feel confident, and most importantly, you.
Look good for you, and no one else. I mean, having others compliment and recognize your style and beauty is a plus, but it all starts with you. If you’re wearing certain clothes based on certain societal trends that you don’t even like wearing or because you it will gain someone’s attention and approval, then you need to stop. What do you like? What makes you feel beautiful and confident? Decide on your style and build it from there; create yourself, because you are a masterpiece. A masterpiece contains bits and pieces that as a whole form an extraordinary and unique representation of you. Don’t be afraid to let the world see the real you, an authentic you, not a distorted and false representation.
Wear makeup for yourself! You don’t need a reason to do that cat-eye or master your favorite blend of eyeshadow. Feel beautiful being you! Instead of looking in the mirror and concentrating on flaws, look and see the beauty in your skin. Notice the delicate curve of your face, the lovely way your hair lays around your face, the unique mole above your lip, your soft curls, the small cute dimple that appears when you smile, the brilliant blue of your eyes, or the dazzling glow of your brown eyes when the sun shines on them. Recognize all the beautiful details. Your makeup just accentuates your beautiful features; it doesn’t create beauty itself.
However, those days when you feel like staying warm, comfy and cute, don’t be afraid to put on your favorite pair of sweatpants, while shoving your hair up in a bun. Feeling comfy and warm leaves one feeling relaxed and calm.
Along with perfecting your makeup, don’t be afraid to put on a bold shade of lipstick! For some reason a splash of color on a girl’s lips makes her feel fierce, and that is just the best feeling!
In addition to wearing that brilliant shade of lipstick, wear those fierce heels you’ve been waiting to wear. Just make sure you are not walking 10 miles during the day. I don’t know what it is, but the click clack of heels makes me feel powerful and bold, so go ahead and strut!
Accept failure and mistakes. While in the moment, failure feels like forever and improvement seems impossible, it is not the end. Mistakes help people learn and grow. Success does not happen in one day. Think about how far you’ve come and never give up. Stop comparing yourself to others, because you are amazing, and I promise you will get there. It just takes time and patience. Allow mistakes and failures to be your teachers; the journey makes the destination. Work hard for yourself and recognize and celebrate even the smallest accomplishments.
Ignore those voices in your head. Please be kind to yourself; you are a work in progress. Yes, you are worth it. Yes, you are smart. Yes, you are loved. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you are enough. I know it’s hard, but please try. Prove those voices wrong and know you are great. Sometimes writing inspirational notes at the top of your planner or on your dry erase board everyday makes a difference. If the mind sees something for so long, it finally becomes permanent and locked in the brain.
Finally, take time for hobbies you enjoy. If you enjoy drawing, go ahead and draw. It will ease your mind. If you like painting, take time to paint a canvas during the day. Doing activities you enjoy, relieves stress.
While you are busy doing all these activities, wanting some recognition is not a bad thing, but only from the right people! Compliments and recognition boosts you up and motivates you to strive for more, so go ahead and brag about the exam you aced to your mom or your best friend. Take a selfie of you wearing your new lipstick. Share your accomplishments with the world and the world will happily admire the real you.