Every summer girls flock to their TVs on Mondays to watch as one lucky lady chooses from twenty five of the most eligible bachelors, hoping to find her soul mate by the end. This year’s Andi Dorfman was our personal fave on Season 10 of The Bachelor before Juan Pablo decided to break her poor little heart. It’s okay, she can do WAY better anyways.
Last night was not without it’s controversies, with a “surprise” (not staged at all, *cough*) visit from Chris Bukowski and a dozen roses. Unfortunately, Chris experienced the ultimate REJECTION, as everyone’s favorite person of the night, the security guard, joked “my wife is going to love me tonight” after confiscating the bouquet and sending him on his merry way.
Either way, Andi has some pretty eligible dudes after her, which means they need to be ranked. Unfortunately, five guys were already cut last night, so we will not include them (AKA we forgot their names already, except for Amil because LOL.) Here are our picks (from worst to best):
#20: Bradley the Opera Singer (?)
Basically the male version of Sharleen from The Bachelor but he actually sang on command and we really wish he hadn’t.
#19: Patrick
Nice tan, bad ‘tude.
#18: Craig
Hello, everyone, this is Craig and he is a contestant on this season of The Bachelorette.
#17: Brett
A+ for bringing a lamp in the limo, dude, but what’s with the hair?
#16: Nick V.
Somehow Nick V snagged the first impression rose but like HE DIDN’T EVEN GIVE HER COOKIES. Like, come on. (see #4.)
#15: Ron
Poor Ron couldn’t get a word in edgewise because cookies and lamp but we’re still rooting for him.
#14: JJ
LOL “pantsapreneur.”
#13: Andrew
Social media marketer and BFF to Patrick because they are “of a higher caliber than everyone else in the house.” Kay bye.
#12: Dylan
“Favorite Drink: Apple Juice” XOXOXOXO
#11: Nick S. the Golfer
But, like, where did he get the putt putt course!?
#10: Steven the Snowboarder
So much flow but so little personality. Sigh.
#9: Cody (Macklemore?)
Yeah, he’s a little too tan and he’s not the REAL Macklemore but he IS a personal trainer, which means that when we hit our first shirtless scene he will IMMEDIATELY BECOME EVERYONE’S FAVORITE.
#8: Carl
Carl is a firefighter. Need we say more.
#7: Brian
Sensitive, loves kids, favorite book is The Notebook. *heart eyes emoji*.
#6: Tasos
Maybe the only man in the whole world who can make the phrase “Can I have a glass of water with ice” sound hot. And gauges. Which are like NEVER hot. Also his name rhymes with tacos.
#5: Marcus
Because who wears a tie to this thing, anyways? But really, he can take us to Poland to meet his parents any day now.
#4: Marquel
The man brought COOKIES to the party. COOKIES. Last time we checked, cookies = first impression rose. Confused.
#3: Chris
Let’s be honest, we all pictured that scene from Can’t Buy Me Love when Chris the farmer stepped out of that limo. *Swoon*.
#2: Josh M.
Andi: “He’s totally my type.” Um, duh, girl; tall, dark, handsome professional baseball player is EVERYONE’S type.
#1: Eric
R.I.P. :(
But really, we love Andi and wish her the best of luck. And Amil.
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