Well, this week threw me for a doozy. I was working really hard on thinking positively (I wore cute outfits all week! And I tried really hard not to be jealous of this other girl's coral jeans!) and taking action (I studied all week, then aced my midterms. Then I aced a job interview. BAM).
But inbetween my four midterms in a single week and a job interview and trying not to compare myself to others despite bouts of PMS, something unpredictable snuck in: boyfriend problems.
This was an unpredictable problem because this boy is perfect. No, but really. He's my best friend, insanely attractive, nice, sensitive, a Women's and Gender Studies major for crying out loud, and we were having problems. Or, rather, I was having problems with how we weren't having problems. I was freaking out about how what if he was The One and we didn’t ever break up and I'm only a sophomore and I wanted to travel the world and flamenco dance with random Latin men before I settled down, and I was internally resentful for him holding me back from crazy nights in Spain.
That resentment manifested its way into me pushing him away and starting fights for no reason. Last week escalated to us having a yelling fight in the middle of the street, and we spent a whole weekend not talking. The result? After almost a year of being That Couple and grossing everyone out with how cute we were, we decided it would be best for both of us if we broke up.
Needless to say, I'm a little heartbroken, and more crying has been going on than positive thinking. But life has good timing--maybe it's a good thing I'm doing a Happiness Challenge right now, when I really need to find things to be happy about.
Since I can't make a goal of simply getting out of bed in the morning without sounding like a depressing post on Tumblr, I'm going to do a few simple things.
See the positives in a big negative: Breakups suck. Period. But this will allow me to open up my schedule and rebuild my life, in a sense. And while this may mean eating lots of Ben and Jerry's at first, eventually I'll have more time to focus on me.
Indulge in some retail therapy: Does shopping really make one feel better? We shall find out this week. Mall, here I come.
And, finally, acknowledge that one day this will all be better. Time heals all things, and after an allotted misery period, I'm going to realize that this was a learning experience and I came out a better person because of it.
But for now? I'm going to call my Mahma, eat some ice cream, and cuddle with my stuffed animals.
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Kelsey Bradshaw is a sophomore at the University of Oregon majoring in Journalism and Facebook (wait, that’s not a real major?!). Originally a track star from Medford, Oregon, she now enjoys going for runs with her friends and working out at Eugene Crossfit. She also enjoys visiting National Parks, playing in the snow, and hanging out at the beach…double points if they’re all at the same time.