Editor’s Note: This is a personal narrative from Alyssa, a Her Campus Oregon State staff member. This article presents her opinion on the experiences she had with Alpha Phi and does not represent the views of Her Campus Oregon State on the Alpha Phi organization or Greek Life. Please read our Letter From the Editor for more information.
I was an Alpha Phi. I am no longer an Alpha Phi, nor do I ever want to be associated with the Dream House
I was an informal rush last year, and when I was going through the “Go Greek” event two houses caught my eye. I fell in love with one, but I didn’t meet their grade requirement since I was Pre-Med and my classes were pretty difficult for the first couple terms. Then, out of the blue, I got a text from a girl in Alpha Phi and I ended up getting coffee with her, and we instantly clicked. I then started hanging out with all the girls who lived in, and I thought I had found the house where I belonged. I was wrong.
Over the summer, I could not wait to start school because I was going to be living in the Alpha Phi house. I was also excited to meet all the girls in my pledge class, since I hadn’t met many of them because I was an informal recruit. I was told I was living in the “zoo” and that it roomed the most girls, but I was also told that I would love it and that everyone hangs out there. The day I moved in my boyfriend, Luke, helped me unload everything, and the girls seemed really nice. I really wanted to get to know them and possibly be friends with them since we were going to be spending a whole term together!
I kind of sensed a strange tension when they would go out to get dinner all together and never invited me. I knew for sure I was an outcast when they took a “Zoomie” picture and never invited me to join in.
We were told that the next couple weeks we were required to be dry because of PanHellenic rules, and I thought that this would be a great week to get to know some of the girls since everyone was staying in. For the first week, everyone was nice, even friendly. Then I got a call from Standards accusing me of breaking dry week rules. I was confused, and I was with my friend, Ryan, who tried to calm me down.
The girls I called my sisters had lied and told on me. I still got the harsh punishment of being on social probation for the rest of the term. I wanted to leave, but Luke told me to stick it out and see how it went because it was recruitment week and everyone was a little overwhelmed. I took his advice and stayed.
It didn’t get better. During recruitment, I didn’t even get to meet any of the new girls, and I had to work “behind the scenes” the whole time. I bought $200 worth of clothing for recruitment, and I didn’t even get to wear any of it. The term started and I was happy to be able to get out of the house. But one day I got a call from my roommate in the middle of class cussing me out. Once again I was confused, and to be honest I had no idea what was going on.
By this point I literally had enough. Not only did I want to drop the house, but I also wanted to leave Oregon State all together. But I knew that a part of me loves Oregon State, and that I was just unhappy because of my living situation and being part of the Alpha Phi house.
At first I was afraid to move out because a lot of my friends live in other houses, and it was too late in the term to find someone with an open room. I thought my only option was to find a random apartment on Craigslist, and just the thought of that made me feel uncomfortable. Then one day I was scrolling through Facebook and I saw that my friend had an opening in her cute little shack two blocks past Fred Meyers, and I knew I had to check it out. I messaged her right away, and walked to the house and I loved it! My friend was super welcoming and I knew moving in to this new place would not only make me feel happier, but I would be in a better environment.
During a meeting with Standards, they asked me if I wanted to disassociate myself from the house. They also told me that I didn’t have to answer right away and that I had 24 hours to give them the answer, but I didn’t even need a day to think about it and I agreed to drop out of the house right away. They gave me a week to move out, but I knew I could not spend another night there.
That night, I felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, but I couldn’t stop crying. I called my best friend, Meghan, and asked if I could spend the night, and without another word she took me in. That night, I asked my best guy friend if I could possibly crash on his couch until I got my lease signed, which would be in a week. Of course, being a true friend, he said yes.
I moved out of the house, and now I am completely moved in to my new place. I am not only happy, but I feel secure and love the people I live with! The six weeks that I lived in the Dream House was some of the lowest points of my life, and not only did it affect me emotionally, but it also affected my relationships with the people I loved.
Ultimately, what I learned from that whole experience is that it always gets better. I used to just tell myself at night that it’s only a bad day, not a bad life. I am not only humbled by my experience at the house, but it also made me reevaluate how I treat people.
Dropping out of Alpha Phi was the best decision I’ve made at Oregon State because I realized that although I went through the hardest six weeks of my life, there is always room to grow and to become a better person. I realized that some experiences in life aren’t always going to be good, but it’s what is learned from them that truly matters.