Have you ever thought a guy was so cute, funny, perfect in every way, and dreamed about being with him? Have you ever been friends with a guy for a long time and developed feelings for him, but didn’t know what to do?. When this happens, usually a woman’s response is to wait it out. Wait for the guy to walk over and introduce himself. Wait for the guy to give you his number. And ultimately, wait for the guy to make the first move.
But he didn’t make the first move, so you just kept that idea in your dreams. Then came the disappointment. You wanted him and wanted to get to know him more, but you did nothing to get what you wanted. That doesn’t make any sense!
If you’ve ever asked a couple, a majority of the time the guy will say that he asked the girl out. It’s been said before—women should break through gender barriers and do what they have been scaring themselves into not doing. But there are still double standards that are hindering us in our search for equality. If we want things to be genuinely equal between the sexes, we need to do so in every way. Women can’t leave certain things, like taking the initiative, up to men.
There are subtle expectations that women unknowingly demand of men. For example, the expectation for men to make the “first move”. We let it creep into our lives, accepting it without realizing it. We often criticize guys for being too immature, too selfish, or too insincere, but men are diverse and varied just like women are. And most of the time, men have the burden of making the first move.
I’m not trying to shame anyone here, I’m guilty of this myself. It can be scary to face the possibility of rejection. You might think you really like this person so that makes it scarier. But that’s just how life is, so be bold! There are plenty of guys every day that have to face that rejection, much more than they would have to if us girls did half the work. So isn’t it true that if men have to face that fear of rejection most of the time that it would make sense for us to start pulling our end?
It’s different for girls, you say. If he says “no” on almost a first impression, does that mean that he thinks I’m not enough? All people have a different opinion on what attracts them. It could be as simple as preferring blondes over brunettes or tall girls over short girls. But should that really hold you back? If anything, that should empower you to possess the knowledge that your looks are not your most important asset! What should really matter to you in the long run is if someone appreciates you for your character, and how compatible you are with that person.
Sometimes people just aren’t compatible and that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. You could be one of the most beautiful, intelligent, gifted people in the world, and someone out there wouldn’t be attracted to you.
If you wait around for a guy to ask you out because you’re afraid, who’s to say that a guy doesn’t feel just as afraid? The reason that he hasn’t asked you out yet might not be that he’s not attracted to you. It might be that he finds you so cool that you’re intimidating to him, or that he’s afraid that you might not feel the same way.
After the first couple of times that you put yourself out there, actually asking a guy out that you really like won’t seem so hard. And if you do get a “yes”, but the date doesn’t end up going well, that’s okay too. Keep being bold and try again! You’ll be sure to empower yourself as well as give the confidence you have to other women around you.